There is really no reason to go see Runner Runner

It is said that “everybody gambles,” which is a gross oversimplification and misunderstanding of reality — this is said by this movie. But is it true that everybody gambles? In a sense, people take risks all the time, whether it’s choosing to have insurance or not, investing in anything at all, or asking someone out. But there’s a difference, a line crossed, when it becomes solely about risking large sums of money to make larger sums of money. Really, that’s what we mean when we call it that. I won’t get into the silliness of the title of the movie because it gets a bit technical, but essentially a “runner runner” in poker means that the final two cards dealt give you the hand you need to win. Is the metaphor apt for this movie? A slick name for an important part of a game, but ultimately meaningless for those unfamiliar with it. Sounds about right … except that Ben Affleck is involved.

Runner Runner fancies itself a sort of thriller in the style of Ocean’s 11 or even The Social Network, to some extent. Justin Timberlake stars as Richie, a grad student getting his Masters in Finance at Princeton, about whom we are explicitly told has “a gift” but we are never clear on what that actually means. Richie has been working as an associate for an offshore online gaming website, promoting it on campus, which is a strict “don’t do it” sort of obvious thing. So right away we’re introduced to a guy we are again told is “always right” and “has real potential,” but due to some never seen or really fleshed out people on Wall Street, he lost his job and money. And he was guaranteed a seven figure bonus, so easy to relate to! But then Richie loses everything gambling his tuition — but using his “smarts” and other people’s math skills, he figures out he’s been cheated. So he travels to Costa Rica to find the mysterious Ivan Block (Ben Affleck), wanted man in the US, to tell him.

Obviously it’s clear what happens next. Ivan offers Richie a chance to make loads of cash, but will he be caught in a web of intrigue and lust (with Gemma Arterton’s random girl character) and the corrupt FBI agent (Anthony Mackie) and blah blah blah. It’s completely and utterly pointless, and why? Because Richie is a bland, amoral cipher who is coasting on the charisma of Justin Timberlake to actually get us to root for him. Honestly, I preferred rooting for the clearly sinister but charming Ivan, because at least Ben Affleck is somehow in a better movie than everyone else. Affleck is fun here, saying the badly written lines with aplomb, while I got bored with literally everything else, from the PG-13 love scene (this movie is rated R) to the attempts at making us care about Richie and his deadbeat father. All so boring.

Sure, some action scenes are reasonably exciting, and some lines are reasonably funny. And sure, Gemma Arterton is beautiful, but why do we care if she and Richie get together? Because they’re marginally less corrupt than Ivan? What this movie forgets is that you have to actually care about the characters and have the villain be a villain. In Ocean’s 11, the bad guy is bad because he’s a jerk and crosses lines, even if they aren’t legal ones. There are a hundred better thrillers than this one, and better movies of every person in this cast if you really want to see them. Although Timberlake hasn’t really had the best track record, I guess. I’ll say one thing though … this makes me more optimistic for the next Batman/Superman movie, because if Affleck could elevate this dreary dreck, imagine what he could in a movie people care about?

And the real lesson here? You know it’s a bad movie when it just makes you think of all the better movies.