When I watched the first Harry Potter film, I never thought I’d lust after the actors’ older selves. Yet, that’s just what happened while I watched Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Parts 1 and 2. I remember getting annoyed when male reviewers pointed out Emma Watson’s burgeoning 14-year-old beauty after The Prisoner of Azkaban‘s release. But now I found myself guilty of the same thing. Honestly, I never noticed the looks of any of the male actors until the last two films. Luckily, for me, the actors (and their characters) are all legal now.
So, I compiled a list and checked it twice of who I find the hottest, naughtiest and nice in the Harry Potter kingdom. (OK, I just ranked who’s hottest). Looking at the picture above, you probably aren’t too shocked to figure out who my number one is …
- Matthew Lewis / Neville Longbottom
Both on and off-screen, Matthew Lewis and his alter ego totally do it for me. How did this kid go from chipmunk cheeks and beaver teeth to top hat hotness? Even the Dr. Huxtable sweater they gave him didn’t stop Neville’s new badass personality. Matthew Lewis has taught me the folly of overlooking the geeky kid with the Chuck E. Cheese teeth. Bill Gates taught me that during Microsoft’s hey-day. And, Matthew Lewis re-teaches that lesson for the 21st century. All I can say is kudos to the early members of the Neville Longbottom fan club. Your forethought has paid off. And, Matthew, if you’re ever interested in older women, give me a call at 1-800-ROB-NSON.
- Tom Felton / Draco Malfoy
When Tom hit the awkward growth spurt in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, I thought “wow, that kid was so cute … what happened?” But, he’s hit his stride with the final film and, all I can say is, “helloooo, nurse!” On-screen, with the white-blonde hair and, off-screen, rocking the dirty blonde ‘do, Tom Felton’s wand can tickle me any day. Plus, I loved his portrayal of a young man torn between his father’s cause, his mother’s love, and his tentative school mate loyalty.
- Nick Moran / Scabior
Rocking Viggo Mortenson’s wig from Lord of the Rings, Moran’s do me eyes and his animalistic portrayal of Scabior’s feral nature had me since day one (and, he could have me on days 7, 10, 25, 30, 120 … you get the idea).
- David Thewlis / Remus Lupin
Yea, off-screen, he looks like a creepy playground stalker; but, on-screen, with the suit, the voice, the understated intensity, his biscuit understanding, and the aplomb, I’m hot for the teacher. Actually, off-screen he does it for me too. Who doesn’t love Thewlis’ intelligent portrayals?
- Daniel Radcliffe / Harry Potter
Off-screen, I couldn’t give a fap about Daniel Radcliffe. He looks like a midget hobbit with abs. But on-screen, with the green contacts, the conflicted angst, and the overwhelming isolated self-sacrifice, I’m spreading for him like peanut butter on rye.
- Gary Oldman / Sirius Black
Yes, Gary looks like his last name. And, you half expect him to yell at that darned Mitchell kid; but, on screen, with the wig, the tattoos, and the prison intensity, he’s a hot acting powerhouse.
- 8. and 9. James Phelps, Oliver Phelps, and Domhnall Gleeson / The Weasley men (Fred, George, and Bill)
The older Weasley men are hotness supreme. I love the Phelps twins for their energetic portrayal of the mischievous Weasley twins. Plus, Oliver earned my lust in the first 15 minutes of Deathly Hallows — Part 1. I loved the slow, sensual smile curving his lips as he played a man watching another man, who he almost died for, make out with his younger sister. And, instead of interrupting them, rocking the sultry, knowing vibe (with a side of mocking). Finally, Domhnall Glesson brought my book-based crush on Bill to life – long hair and all.
- Sean Biggerstaff / Oliver Wood
I totally forgot about Oliver Wood until Katie reminded me, bumping Rupert Grint off the list. Knock on wood, I’m a sucker for Biggerstaff’s “huge” Glasgow accent, his steady Quidditch guidance, and, you know, other things ….
So, that’s my list. Teenage girls feel free to flame me. There are some people that never did it for me in reality, but did it for me in the film like Rhys Ifans playing Xenophilius Lovegood. And, although I love Alan Rickman out of costume, I don’t love him inside. But, considering one of my friends holds a goth love torch for Severus, I figured I’d give people a chance to vote.
If you agree or disagree let me know below. And, either way, vote in the poll. You get ten per person and check back later to see the poll results!
Photo Credit: Warner Brothers
