Four reasons why this remake of The Stand is a bad idea

People who do what we do are often asked questions like “What’s your favorite TV Show,” or “What’s your favorite movie.” For most of us, those questions are rarely simply answered. I couldn’t, if you paid me, name my favorite movie (unless, of course, it is a lot of money … if that’s the case, I’ll just go with Varsity Blues and thumb my nose at critics across the planet). However, if you were to ask me what my favorite book of all time is, it is a ridiculously easy question: Stephen King’s The Stand.

HitFlix’s Drew McWeeny reported this week that Warner Bros. is putting ink to paper for a deal to bring the team behind the last couple of Harry Potter flicks, director David Yates and screenwriter Steve Kloves together for a multi-picture adaptation of the apocalyptic drama. There’s already been one adaption, an ABC Made for TV project directed by Mick Garris, which was, for my money, pretty good (for television). I actually welcome the idea of a big screen version, but this is a very bad idea. Let me tell you all of the reasons why:

• Has Cloves proven that he knows how to split a book into parts? Not if you ask me. Making Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows into two parts was probably the right decision (though, considering how much the first part [and the first half of the book] truly dragged, perhaps not), I thought where they drew the line as a poor choice.
• Don’t get me started about Yates and directing action. I’ve already gone there. There is, fortunately, not a lot of action in The Stand.
• Yates has also proven he can’t manage multiple plot threads at once. This really goes back to Yates’ managing the final act of Deathly Hallows Part Two, but I think it equates to The Stand, especially the first act. All of the characters are spread out across America, before, during, and after the outbreak of Captain Tripps. If Yates can’t handle a 30-minute action set piece, straight, how will he manage this story?
• Neither has any real horror experience. The big downfall to the miniseries was that it was that it was on television. You can’t do the Lincoln Tunnel sequence any justice when Standards and Practices had to sign off on the script. If you’re going to make The Stand on the big screen, you’re going to have to play up the horror aspects of the story.

Again, I’m actually looking forward to seeing this movie. I’m sure I’ll be there on opening day. I just wish there was a director/writer team that I have some faith in to pull of an epic story of this nature. After Deathly Hallows Part Two, I wouldn’t trust these two to cross the street with a paperback copy of The Stand in their hands.

Clacked by Ivey West
on Aug 13, 2011 @ 10:00 EST5EDT