There are better places to spend a day than At Middleton

At Middleton, the first feature from writer/director (and Baltimore native) Adam Rodgers, tells the story of two parents accompanying their children on a campus tour of their potential college. Edith (Vera Farmiga) is against her daughter Audrey (Taissa Farmiga, Vera’s real life sister!) attending Middleton because it just seems too small for her tastes. Yes, it’s all about Edith. George (Andy Garcia) is pushing his son Conrad (Spencer Lofranco) to attend Middleton because it really is a lovely, intimate college. During the tour, George and Edith butt heads, get separated from the group, spend time together exploring the campus and fall in love … remember, this all happens in the space of a couple of hours.

I hate to diss a first-timer (and local boy), but if I hadn’t been at a screening for the sole purpose of reviewing the film, I probably would have walked out midway though. Rodgers’ script, co-written with Glenn German, piles on every bad cliché in the book and feels more like a Lifetime made-for-TV movie than anything else (surprise … the two have one other writing credit for a Lifetime made-for-TV movie).

Edith is a totally unlikable character, asking questions during the tour just to embarrass her daughter. Audrey isn’t much better, veering from one emotion to the other at the drop of a hat. Conrad is laid back and is plainly humoring his father, and George is the supposed voice of reason when Edith suggests one Lucy Ricardo shenanigan after another. The two start their journey by stealing a couple of bikes, and walking into buildings and rooms where they don’t belong, many times. Edith was probably on the right track to be concerned about the school’s security if they can practically get away with murder. But it’s all just the conveniences of the script that allow the two to look deeper into their lives and see what they’re missing with their absent spouses.

At one point, George and Edith end up back in a dorm room with a girl and her boyfriend. George is also a surgeon and he has a patient in dire need of an operation, but all he can do is make judgment calls by looking at some video online. Stressed out by not being there, the students offer the adults a bong to relax and they proceed to act how what someone who has never been stoned thinks stoned people act. They giggle, dance, sing and carry on … while the students simply mellow out and watch. It’s a pretty embarrassing scene for the two actors who are probably just following Rodgers’ direction.

And speaking of directing, I have come to enjoy Farmiga’s performances over the year. I really couldn’t stand her in the first movie I saw her in, Running Scared (with Paul Walker), but she’s been great in The Departed, Source Code, The Conjuring and Bates Motel. The key to those performances was a good, experienced director who knows how to control his actors. In At Middleton, Farmiga has to contend with mediocre dialog and a director who insists on having her laugh one of the most annoying laughs in movie history. Several times. I’m sitting there going “tone it down” and I could imaging Rodgers nodding his head, saying “give me even more of that!” While I love Farmiga, she is apparently one of those actors who really needs a great director to guide her performance.

With this being my second film in less than a week with a first-time director at the helm (see That Awkward Moment), I think I’m ready for some big piece of Hollywood entertainment by a major director. That being said, I’m glad that these newcomers are getting the opportunity to make films and have them distributed, but someone, somewhere really should have gone over the script before handing them millions of dollars to make these overblown TV movies.