(Season 1, Episodes 5-10)
I can’t believe there’s more than one season of this. Oh, it’s killing me, and I’m only ten episodes in. I’m starting to remember why I didn’t make it past Episode one the first time I tried this series. I’ll toughen up and pull through the rest of this season, but I’m beginning to doubt I have it in me to make it to Season two. For those of you confused as to why a series full of wimpy pretty boys and wafer-thin trust fund chicks would weaken me so badly, read on and it will all become glaringly obvious.
Bitches. The lot of them.
Maybe it’s because I have always opted to be awkwardly anti-social than get involved in pointless, emotionally draining drama in my life, but I’m not used to all this cattiness! It’s exhausting. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Blair and Serena have been through a lot together, but after some of the horrible things they’ve done to each other, I don’t understand how they’re still friends. That Nate guy has not done anything worthy of that endless stream of girl-drool, except look like one of those guys from the Abercrombie & Fitch bags, and Dan is doing an hilariously terrible job of being the “relatable” character. Also, I’m still not over Chuck Bass trying to rape Serena and Jenny at the start of the season; he’s still not the sexy sleazebag to me yet, and I usually like sleazebags.
The parents are no better, as they are living out all the drama that their teenage kids are. I suppose that’s the point, that they can’t escape their pasts. Right? There has to be a point explaining why all these rich people are all so ridiculously immature and unable to take care of themselves. I do kind of like that this circle of people’s version of a deep insult is the dreaded “uninvite.” Yeah, I’ll give them that.
I’ll confess, I’m cool with indulging in mindless, sex-driven television every once in a while. Hell, I’ve followed all of The L Word, so I’m obviously okay with it. But when things get tedious only five episodes in and there doesn’t seem to be any redeeming glimmer of hope on the horizon, that’s not a good sign. Our very own Aryeh listed Gossip Girl as one of the dumb shows that attract smart people. I consider myself to be relatively un-dumb and fairly edumacated, so what part of Gossip Girl‘s sordid, weak writing and character development drew me in? I’m starting to think I based this entire relationship on clothing, because the costume design is the only consistently intriguing and admirable part of this show.
Like all loves based solely upon well-fitted blazers, I fear this will not last.
“Dare Devil”
Jenny may be the most tolerable of all characters on this show, even over her brother. The struggle to balance morality and the teen need to fit in is a sympathetic one, and I’m glad it’s been included on the show. That said, I’m kind of horrified that Jenny’s, like, 14 but she’s dressing/acting like that. I guess her parents are too busy with their own drama to pay attention.
“The Handmaiden’s Tale”
God, this whole masquerade ball thing was so convoluted, I could hardly stand it. When Serena handed off her mask and her fur shawl to Jenny, I wanted to scream. Weak.
“Victor, Victoria”
The revenge sex between Chuck and Blair was almost as believable as Nate going nuts on his dad and getting him arrested. Almost.
“Seventeen Candles”
Those girls have never, ever played a round of Guitar Hero in their life. That is all.
“Blair Waldorf Must Pie!”
They used that super-jokey title to reveal that Blair’s bulimic?! That’s … okay, that’s pretty hilarious, actually, in that bitchy, insensitive sort of way that the funny, awkward high school girls had to talk to keep the meaner popular girls in check. That said, I was pretty disappointed to see the evil bitch of the show get reduced to just eating disorders and (gay) daddy issues.
“Hi, Society”
Okay, the troubled relationship between Serena, her mother, and her grandmother was pretty interesting, I’ll give them that. It was engaging and surprising. Hopefully, this will kind of, sort of continue to the other episodes.
Clacked by Annie Wu 
on Jan 26, 2009 @ 13:00 EST5EDT
You have now managed to make it farther in the show than I did, so I can’t offer much help on your quest. However, I think it is a worthy undertaking if for nothing other than giving us this line:
“Like all loves based solely upon well-fitted blazers, I fear this will not last.”
Here here!
I was trying to lay low until the backlash died down, but I’m willing to take one for the team :-).
Yeah, season one of this show sucked balls. Just watch The O.C instead. Season 2 is a lot better though. It’s a lot more fun, and the characters become a lot better.
Eh… I doubt you’ll consider Jenny the most tolerable much longer, especially if you stick around through S2.
Oh, and the Guitar Hero scene got written into the show just because of Blake Lively’s love of playing ;)
The final episode of season 2 was by far the most emotional, tears damn it!