First of all, my sincerest of sincere apologies to you all. I know that you’ve been waiting impatiently for this, and I wasted little time in putting my thoughts together once I’d actually seen episode three in this operatic drama. However, Sunday night was March Madness Selection Sunday, and alas I was consumed with bracketology. I hope you can forgive me.
Anyway, last night I “watched” this installment of The Celebrity Apprentice while cutting tiny pieces of paper into squares; this year I’m having my ten month-old son select his own NCAA bracket by choosing one team’s logo or another, and I had to prepare. But I digress. Highlight of the episode? George Ross is back! Unfortunately, he was standing in for Don Don instead of Ivanka, but I suppose you can’t have everything. George jumped right in, his age belying the ruthless business nature that continues to lie beneath. It’s like when I hold my son along my right side and make him “walk” while I hum, then I shoot him across my body and we “attack” an unsuspecting stuffed animal. Granted, in that scenario he convulses in laughter, but you get my point with George. He’s brutal.
This week we knew what was coming for the men: do or die for Tom Green. After last week’s debacle in which Tom turned back into himself (following a premiere where I actually thought he might have a head for business), Green accepted his own challenge of being project manager. Unfortunately, it was for the very Dennis Rodman task of selling wedding dresses. I think it would have taken the off-the-beat thinking of Rodman to beat the women at this one. But Tom was in line and boy did he blow it.
I’m still trying to understand something very simple: no knock on women in general, but in a competition that is all about “corporate sponsorship”, how does a team with no public profile keep trumping (Eww!) one with a little public profile? Meaning, the women are more nobodies than the men; how do they keep winning? Could be an interesting sociological study.
Now, I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again: who is Khloe Kardashian? I just don’t understand. She talks as if she knows something about business, and like people know who she is … why is that? And, seeing her stand in front of the men’s storefront and send customers over to the women was just disgusting. If Herschel Walker wasn’t such a good guy, he would have (and should have) punched her in the side of the head. Seeing that really made me sick.
I do have some good news to report: we have our official sleepers! (there’s March Madness again) Last year, we saw Lennox Lewis and Trace Adkins sail to the end of the competition by riding low, and occasionally being pithy. This year’s nominees for sleepers? Jesse James and Clint Black! That’s right; Mr. Sandra Bullock and yet another member of the Grand Ole Opry are starting to rise to the top by keeping their heads down and, believe it or not, being amusing. Jesse said he hated to admit that Tom Green was a crappy project manager; Clint gave Tom a bit of hangover-beating advice with a little wink and a tap to the side of the nose. Plus, under that hat, Black looks a lot like Mandy Patinkin, which ain’t a bad thing in my book. One slip up though: he raised a ton of money from his friends and contacts, while last year Trace Adkins pleaded poverty for the Country world. Was Trace holding back and being selfish? Remember folks, this is all for charity!
And of course, we had another boardroom and another firing. This time Tom Green got bounced, after the women trounced the men and Green was MIA for the morning van ride to the task. Maybe now that the fat’s been cut from the guys (Green, Andrew Dice Clay) they can get down to winning. Brian McKnight, Herschel Walker, Black and James are each pretty solid, and Dennis could still surprise. Though he will have to show up for the task in order to do that.
Lastly, the funniest thing in the boardroom would have gone by unnoticed, if not for Rodman’s classic straightforwardness. Trump was playing “I know everything about the famous folk” and “rhetorically” asked Dennis if he’d ignore a knock at the door from Phil Jackson (his coach on the Bulls) or Michael Jordan (duh), like he did from PM Tom Green. Trump expected a “no, sir”, and you could see him ready to spew forth his next line. Instead, Rodman said what we all knew he’d say: that he would do, and in fact had done, the same thing to Jackson and Jordan. Well, no kidding! Rodman is notorious for insubordination. Next time you want to play “intimates” with the celebs, Donald, check your facts first.
And for those of you who missed this slimmed down one hour episode, check out the full two hours this Saturday night on NBC … never before seen footage!
Clacked by Aryeh S.
on Mar 17, 2009 @ 16:00 EST5EDT
