American Idol – Eight is enough!

Yeah, no, I’m not talking about for the run of the show. Although, believe me, I can’t stand the fact that 99% of the people who’ve made it through the auditions in the seven years that I’ve been watching have been unable to sing. We can certainly agree to disagree, but this year Danny Gokey is the only contestant with some semblance of vocal talent.

Rather, I reference the fact that, American Idol producers, it is time to send Paula Abdul out to pasture. Well, not so much that it’s time, but rather, it’s past time (eight years past), and at this point, it’s more a question of: without talent AND with her and Kara‘s combined total lack of musical IQ, what’s the point in tuning in? Simon can only carry you so far. And, okay, he may not be intelligible all of the time, but Randy does make some sense.

To be honest, I never really cared about the rumors swirling around Paula; the affair with a contestant, drugs, drinking, etc. My problem with her has always been rooted in one simple fact: musically, she has no idea what she’s talking about. Okay, make that two, because her inability to speak English can also be frustrating. And this year she’s added a bit of a twist: her voice quivers and cracks every time she speaks. It sounds to me as if she’s self-conscious, or even scared, of opening her mouth. As well she should be, because she hits a new low each and every time!

I mean, come on, this is a singing competition (the major reason why it bothers me that the contestants can’t sing!) What sense does it make for her to say, “First of all, you look great!” Who cares? And then, she rambles on about people’s souls, their inner beauty, whatever. Is she a guru? Even so, I would take all of that over her attempts at dispensing actual vocal critiques. Besides the fact that she generally uses colloquial instead of musical vernacular to express herself, she also lacks a full understanding of the words’ applications. Not to mention her inability to steer herself out of trouble: when she uses a word improperly, or one it’s clear she didn’t expect to have pop out of her mouth, she needs to course correct in order to say what she wants to. Instead, Paula barrels ahead down an unknown path, usually resulting in the most ridiculous of quotes. There’s a reason that Simon always says “I didn’t understand a word of that.”

And I’m not complaining because I disagree with her tastes, although, since she is always positive about everyone it’s kind of impossible not to regularly disagree with her. I take issue with all of the judges for our lack of mutual opinion, but some of that has to do with a lack of perspective when you witness live performances. Or just different tastes (i.e. Adam Lambert is consistently one of the worst performers to ever appear on the franchise, hands down. For some reason the judges always get that one wrong!)

This isn’t brain surgery, and it’s not high quality programming. But that doesn’t excuse the people over at Idol for providing us with someone who hasn’t even the dimmest of lights on in their musical brains. Paula has none, and she is only doing herself and the program a disservice by branding it with her lack of ability. I’m sure she is a lovely person, but she sounds like a buffoon, and really has no place judging others in singing. Dancing, that’s debatable, but not singing. And, if her opinion carries any weight in the decisions that are made on the show, than 19 Entertainment has a viable lawsuit on their hands for reckless something or other. I find it a bit mind boggling that Simon Fuller doesn’t seem to care.

Anyway, that’s just me. But if there really needs to be a female voice in the mix, which I don’t disagree with, why not try someone who actually has the requisite knowledge? Or, at the very least, someone who would be a step up from Paula?

Is Courtney Love free?

Clacked by Aryeh S.
on Mar 27, 2009 @ 15:01 EST5EDT