Diary of a Buffy the Vampire Slayer Virgin – Hyenas, cyberdemons and Angel revealed

(Season 1, Episodes 5-8)

With the format pretty well established, it’s time to get into learning some more about these crazy kids and their even crazier world.

5 – “Never Kill a Boy on the First Date”
(Original Air Date: March 30, 1997) Oh Buffy, Slayers don’t have time for love! It was funny watching her get all beside herself over Owen. It must be difficult for the Watchers to have to deal with teenage girls as Slayers. Talk about distracted! And about Owen. Are there really teenage guys out there who are that … decent? He’s so freaking nice and sweet and wow — it’s just so weird to watch. I guess they wanted to create the ideal guy for Buffy to not be able to be with to make it even harder.

Even worse is that I can totally relate to Xander in this episode. I helped a guy I knew hook up with a girl I had a huge crush on … and I had a Daffy Duck watch. But it ran backwards … because he’s crazy! That’s cool, right?

Whenever I watch old shows I think about technological advances, imagining them in the modern era. When Giles was trapped in the funeral home, there was no texting or even calling Buffy. Only the trusted beeper. Which Xander and Willow didn’t use; I guess running to her was better.

Angel did it walking, and brooding and giving that smoldering look. Good lord, it’s no wonder every girl I knew in college was in love with David Boreanaz. And none of them were pining after The Master. Huh. But he’s funnier. I thought women liked a sense of humor.

I thought Borba, the religious nut on the bus, was menacing looking as a human, but he looked great as a vampire. Perfect evil mixed with crazy. Which made for some excellent misdirection as I assumed he was The Anointed One come to fulfill the prophecy. Especially considering that Buffy hasn’t failed to fulfill whatever mission she’s been given up to this point. Nice move on making it the scared kid from the bus. Now what?

I guess that means the first season arc is under way.

6 – “The Pack”
(Original Air Date: April 6, 1997) And just like that it’s derailed. For what was essentially a “monster-of-the-week” episode, this one was a lot more disturbing than I expected. I liked using the hyena pack concept to talk about those social cliques that can so dominate high school life. And how easily one can fall under their thrall with a little bit of acceptance.

What’s funny is that, while Xander’s behavior changed dramatically as a result of his hyena possession, the rest of the pack wasn’t that different in how they treated people … except for the cannibalism. At the end, when Giles called Xander out about Xander not remembering what had happened while he was under the spell, it was an odd moment for Xander but a horrible revelation about the rest of the pack.

Yes, it means that Xander remembers how he trashed Willow to her face and all but tried to rape Buffy at one time. But it also means the other four members of the hyena pack remember killing and eating the principal. I’ll be interested to see if they follow up on that at all.

First, a teacher and now a principal; the kids at Sunnydale High would have personal counselors walking with them by now in this day and age.I did appreciate that the creators showed just how high the stakes are in this fight against evil by killing off a pretty significant character in that fashion.

7 – “Angel”
(Original Air Date: April 13, 1997) This one opened up with deja vu from “The Pack.” Buffy and Willow sitting around pining after Angel and Xander, respectively. But this time, we got more involved with Angel. On a totally unrelated note, “The Three” looked like Klingons. Or maybe they were Klingons from Burger King!

I’d imagine the reveal that Angel was a vampire was pretty shocking back in the day, so I’ll just say I was “shocked” to find out he was. Or rather, I was shocked that he reverted to vamp form just from kissing Buffy. Sarah Michelle Gellar is cute and all, but I’d like to think I could contain my inner demon better than that around her.

While I already knew about Angel being a vampire with a soul, I didn’t know the details of how it all went down.  The Master knows him and says he was one of the worst back in the day. So he’s vying for redemption, and racked with guilt. Cue swooning girls.

This is a great character — I wonder why he wasn’t a series regular right off the bat. Did they not think of his back-story yet, or were they not sure if he would work? Hell, he’s a lot more involved in the storylines than Cordelia so far.

When Angel and Buffy were “walking away” they totally ran into each other’s lips. They should have tried walking in the opposite direction.

8 – “I, Robot… You, Jane”
(Original Air Date: April 27, 1997) With the introduction of Ms. Calendar, Giles has a foil to his archaic ways. It was absolutely quaint to hear her talking about the virtues of the burgeoning internet and how email had actually surpassed regular mail in the prior two years. Twelve years later the post office is gasping for survival (yes, I know I exaggerate).

Unfortunately, since Willow scanned the ancient demon Moloch into the computer system, Giles and it are going to have to get acquainted. And we get an early look at online predators, in a very literal sense. Oh Willow, when are you going to figure yourself out (that’s another thing I already know)?

Buffy’s birthday in her file changed from October ’80 to May ’79 in the time it took to transfer from one computer to another. I think Moloch was trying to be mean to her by saying she was even older than she is! And the kid who rebelled against the computer just had to be named Dave, didn’t he? Couldn’t resist that one, Joss?

I didn’t expect Ms. Calendar to already be aware of the “under” world in Sunnydale. Or to be a technopagan, whatever that means. I was looking forward to Giles trying to convince her he wasn’t crazy. Instead they worked very well as a team in trapping the demon in his suit of massively powerful armor.

I do have a question, though. If Ms. Calendar doesn’t dangle her corkscrew from her ear, then how the hell did it get off of where she does dangle it so that Giles could find it in the library?

Previously on Diary of a Buffy the Vampire Slayer Virgin
Season 1, Episodes 1-4

Clacked by Jason Hughes
on Jun 01, 2009 @ 18:30 EST5EDT