Diary of a Weeds Virgin – Nancy is bugging me. Doug and Celia FTW!

by Kona Gallagher

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(Season 2, Episodes 7-9)

While I like this set of episodes a lot more than I liked the last three, I am really starting to hate Nancy. I just flat-out do not understand her motivation in anything she does. She’s childish, selfish, and just seems utterly incapable of making anything other than ridiculously bad decisions.

The supporting cast continues to make this show for me — especially Doug and Celia. Their interactions are golden, and the last episode of this batch, in his office? I loved every second of it. This is what’s keeping me coming back for more. Well, that and I’m committed to this Virgin Diary, but whatever. I can’t wait to see what happens with those two.

2×07 “Must Find Toes”

Well, that’s a good way to keep Andy from becoming a Rabbi. What I love about Andy losing his toes is that in the context of this show, it all completely makes sense. Of course Doug finds a stray pit bull and befriends him, and of course he brings him back to the grow house. The next logical step is that he attacks someone, but eating Andy’s toes off? Let’s just say I wish I hadn’t been eating lunch while watching this.

Andy ditching Rabbinical school also worked out well because it gets rid of his creepy new girlfriend. She was amusing at first, but she quickly began to wear on me, so I’m a-ok with seeing her go. Shane is also having similarly bad luck with women, as that girl he likes gets pissed at him for ruining their debate. They were on opposite sides of Electoral College vs. Popular Vote, with Shane being on the Popular Vote side. His entire argument consisted of “George W. Bush,” which was pretty hilarious. The only way that scene could have been made better is if Shane had a mic in his hand and just dropped it after his “speech.” The aftermath was a little politically heavy-handed (Yes, people who make Weeds, you’re liberals. I get it), but overall the whole thing was pretty funny.

Nancy’s business also seems to be going through some upheaval, with Silas wanting to partner up with her and Celia winning Doug’s City Council seat. Nancy seems to understand that having her 17-year-old son join the family pot-selling business is a bad idea, and she quickly shoots him down. However, Nancy isn’t exactly known for her great parenting decisions, so it wouldn’t surprise me if she brings Silas on like, the next episode. Celia’s plan to make Agrestic a Drug-Free Community also obviously affects Nancy, but I could see Celia looking the other way in exchange for Nancy’s friendship.

2X08 “MILF Money”

God, I hate the term, MILF. Although, for the purposes of this episode, I’ll give it a pass: if for no other reason than Snoop Dogg is hilarious. Besides, MILF is the perfect term to use for this episode, because I’m definitely starting to hate Nancy as much as I hate that term. In the last episode, when the doctor who was treating Andy asked if she had health insurance, she said “no.” Now, I understand that Andy doesn’t, and certainly Nancy isn’t responsible for his health and well-being, but I’d be willing to bet that she and her children don’t have health insurance either.

Now, this in and of itself isn’t inexcusable. After all, her husband died, and their insurance was probably through his job. However, if you’re going to introduce this fact, plus the entire premise of the show, which is this woman is selling drugs to support her family, and then show me a montage of her spending thousands upon thousands of dollars on bullshit for herself, then I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel sorry for or like this character.

I’m also not thrilled with how creepy Peter is set to bring down Heylia, and Nancy isn’t doing anything about it. I don’t expect her to go way out of her way, but a heads up phone call may be in order. As far as the whole Heylia/Conrad thing goes, I’ve got to say I’m with Conrad on this one: he brought his plan to her first and she shot him down. She can’t be surprised that he went off on his own.

2×09 “Bash”

Well Nancy definitely redeemed herself, albeit temporarily by giving Heylia that heads-up phone call. I also enjoyed the way they brought the Nation of Islam dude back as well. What confuses me about it is the fact that Conrad knows U-Turn, so if that’s who Peter is ultimately after, why didn’t Nancy get Conrad to give him U-Turn in exchange for just leaving Heylia alone? It seems like this whole thing could have been avoided.

Peter is definitely getting creepier though. He’s getting more and more controlling, and I wasn’t surprised at all when he barged into Nancy’s bathroom and told her they should get married. He’s weirdly obsessed with her, and I’m pretty sure that was his end game all along. Nancy seems to be getting that he’s a little off, but Silas brought up a good point: what about when they break up? Sure, they’re married, but I don’t think that’s quite the “mutually assured destruction” Nancy wants to believe it is.

Throughout all of this business drama, Nancy still somehow finds the time to be a shitty mom. It’s really nice how the kids want to celebrate their father’s birthday by eating his favorite foods and watching his favorite movie. It’s not like they were taking his favorite high-class airline to his favorite private island and swimming in his favorite gold dubloons. They’re buying a cake and watching Willie Wonka — yet Nancy tried to get out of it. Luckily she got outvoted, but the whole thing with Shane finding out about Nancy’s DEA agent boyfriend because he guessed it and not because she sat down and had a talk with him was pretty shitty. It was almost as shitty as secretly marrying the guy in the first place. I seriously hope she finds a way to redeem herself, because I’m not sure how much longer I can watch this show if she doesn’t.

Although, Doug and Celia cheating on their respective spouses with each other? Brilliant.