Diary of a Weeds Virgin – Where will everyone go?

(Season 3, Episodes 13-15)

I’ve got to say one thing for the Weeds folks: they keep you on your toes. I like how they seem to almost reboot the series at the end of every season. They change the dynamics enough to keep it interesting. After watching the season 3 finale, I have no idea what they’re going to do in season 4, or who is even still going to be around. While this season finale wasn’t quite the nail-biter that the last one was, I’m still really excited about digging into season 4.

(Season 3, Episode 13 “Risk”)

I talked last time about how surprising that batch of episodes was, and things just continue to get more and more weird in this one. Not only are Nancy and Conrad sleeping together, it appears as though they’re trying to have some sort of relationship. He made her a fruit plate. A fruit plate! If that’s not love, I don’t know what is. It can’t end well, because nothing ever will for Nancy; I just hope Conrad is the one who ends things. He’s too awesome to get hurt by her.

Celia isn’t content to just collect her $15,000 a month in rent; she wants to be one of the cool kids, too. She asks Conrad to put her to work, and she and Heylia end up bonding over hot flashes. Those are two scary ladies, and I hope they become best friends. Celia needs more of an outlet for her evil tendencies.

It’s no secret that Nancy is a shitty mom, but I’m pretty sure she actually gets the award for Worst. Mom. Ever. this time. Not only does she get Silas beaten up by a biker gang, but her neglect has caused Shane to have a complete mental break. He’s become so worried over the fact that his mother has become a drug kingpin, and regularly puts their life in danger, that he’s not only become obsessed with Pittsburgh, but he’s started having conversations with his dead father. Once again, I’m still having a hard time figuring out exactly what Nancy’s reasons for not just moving her family away are.

(Season 3, Episode 14 “Protection”)

God, Nancy is so bad at life. I mean, she’s good in that luck always seems to eventually go her way, but bad in every other way possible. Instead of shitting her pants, which is what I believe I would do if my son started seeing his dead father, she went immediately into denial mode and pretty much just ignored the problem. Sure, she sent Andy in to talk to him about it, but refused to actually send him to a shrink, in case he “talks about what mommy does for a living.” Jesus.

Instead of dealing with Shane’s breakdown, Nancy concentrated on dealing with the biker gang who kicked Silas’ ass. Instead of attempting, well, anything really, she went back to the Mexicans and gave them 50% of her business so they would protect her. So basically, since Silas got his ass kicked, Southern California is burning to the ground … because the Mexicans torched the bikers’ grow field, and the Santa Ana winds turned it into a wildfire. Nancy is ruining the world.

She’s also continuing her affair with Conrad, and Heylia totally walked in on them kissing, so that can’t be good. I’m not really sure that Heylia has a whole lot of power over them still, so I don’t know what she can really do, but she’s scary; I’m sure she’ll think of something.

(Season 3, Episode 15 “Go”)

So … no more Agrestic/Majestic? That’s weird. I’m not sad to see the creepy Jesus town go, but what is everyone going to do? Nancy should pack up her family and move far, far away, but since she’s Nancy, she’s just going to do something stupid – like get into drug trafficking. She sucks as a drug dealer. Why on earth does she think getting involved with a Mexican gang, and starting a career in drug trafficking, makes any sense whatsoever?

Especially since Doug and his stupid cross is about to get her in trouble with the DEA. They found the grow house because of it, and because Nancy was dumb enough to get stupid Celia involved, Captain Till knows pretty much everything. She may have burned down her house, but I don’t think that’s going to be nearly enough to get her out from under this mess she’s once again gotten herself into.

Nancy Botwin is a straight-up idiot, but I’m totally hooked on what’s going to happen to her next. Season 3 brought a lot of changes, and it seems like Season 4 is going to be an entirely different show; perhaps with different cast members. I’m trying not to look too closely on IMDB, but it seems as though we may be losing Heylia, et al. I know Mary-Kate Olsen doesn’t come back; Matthew Modine is pretty much gone … but I’m not sure about Conrad. It seemed as though they could have been paving the way for his exit, as well, but I’m not sure. I do know, however, that Doug and Celia stay, so that’s all that matters to me. Especially because Doug is the most amazing banjo player/singer ever. I hope he starts a band next season with Steve Martin.

Clacked by Kona Gallagher
on Jul 29, 2009 @ 12:00 EST5EDT