How I Met Your Mother, oh how you made me laugh tonight. Yes, Marshall and Lily were annoyingly cute (but Barney and Robin were back to their snarky selves) and I got really sick of gouda jokes, but you made up for it in infinite ways.
For instance, I didn’t know just how funny tweed was:
“Ah, tweed, textile of the eunuch.” – Barney to Ted, on his new professor duds
And you milked it throughout the episode, in true Bays and Thomas fashion: just enough to stay funny but not crossing that line (which you may have crossed with the Gouda).
But the sexless innkeeper is where you brought it home tonight, and you can be sure I’ve transcribed Barney’s and Ted’s “Sexless Innkeeper” poems after the jump….
The Sexless Innkeeper (Barney)
‘Twas the night before New Years
and the weather grew mean
It was three in the morning
and I was stranded in Queens!
The tavern grew empty
the gaslights grew dim
the horse-drawn carriages
were all but snowed in.
Last call was approaching
and my fortunes looked bleak
then I turned to my left
and stifled a shriek.
She had a peach fuzz beard
and weighed sixteen stone
She gobbled up hot wings
and swallowed the bones.
I muffled a scream
and threw up in my mouth
I asked, “where do you live?”
and she said, “one block south.”
I swallowed my pride
and six shots of whiskey
and prayed to the gods
that she wasn’t too frisky
Back in her cave
She prepared us a snack
‘neath her mighty hooves
the floorboards did crack.
But when she returned
she found a sound sleeper
and thus she became
the sexless innkeeper.
—
The Sexless Innkeeper (Ted)
‘Twas the night before this one
I had hours to kill
I sat in the tavern
grading parchments with quill
A busty young lassie
flashed me a grin
Her garb said classy
but her eyes whispered sin
She said, “you’re a teacher?”
I said, “yes indeed.”
“I must have you,” she moaned.
“I’m turned on by tweed!”
With haste we did scamper
to my chamber anon
Fell to the couch
and, bro, it was on.
I unlaced her bodice
our passions grew deeper
and thus ends the tale
of the sexless innkeeper.
Other stuff:
Clacked by Debbie McDuffee
on Oct 12, 2009 @ 21:13 EST5EDT
Last night’s episode definitely Blew the Hatch for me. I don’t ever remember laughing so hard at any of the past episodes for HIMYM. I especially like the scene in the hallway of Robin and Barney after a night with the Eriksens. Robin shot her brains out with her fingers as Barney wiped her brains off from his face. It was perfectly choreographed and probably missed by everyone because of laughter from the previous joke.
Do you think the writers were self prophesying? Because tonight’s show was truly “the best night ever.”
the Sexless Innkeeper and Ted’s retort were brilliant
I’m going to be in the minority here, but I’m truly bothered by the Barney/Robin pairing and have trouble enjoying episodes that focus on the two of them as a couple. Barney is a wonderful character, but he’s what Kramer was to Seinfeld or what Ted Baxter was to Mary Tyler Moore. He’s the one character who is so broadly drawn that it’s hard to imagine him with someone like Robin, who, when the show began, seemed intelligent and engaged with the real world in ways that would make her completely unsuited to Barney. Robin broke up with Ted because she wanted to spend a few years traveling and working as a foreign correspondent. All that ambition has disappeared and she’s settled for someone whose only real passion is laser tag (now that other women are out of the picture). I know I’m overthinking this, but “How I Met Your Mother” used to appeal to people who liked to think. I know, I know, it’s just a sitcom. It’s just a sitcom. It’s just a sitcom.
I have to say, this season of HIMYM has just bombed so far, at least in my opinion. I’ve watched the show since the beginning, and cheered as every season so far has been better than the last one, with season 4 being consistantly laugh-out-loud funny. I have not felt that way yet about any episodes this season, and if I’m lucky, I’ve laughed out loud once or twice. I was never into the Robin/Barney thing, but I don’t think that’s it– I just don’t feel that the writers or actors, for that matter, are hitting their marks. It’s disappointing to me, since I’ve always highly enjoyed the show, and I will continue watching in the hopes that it will get better/I will start enjoying it again, but again, it’s been a big letdown. (But I did think the innkeeper poems were good :) )
I agree with Abigail: this season has been all letdown so far. I like Barney and Robin; I think it’s the writers who are ruining them by trying to do more with them when they should just let them be.
Also, Lily is killing Marshall and bringing down everyone else she comes in contact with. I didn’t laugh once during the entire double-date story line. Hopefully Barney will insult her sensibilities again soon and we can be rid of her.
I did like the sexless innkeeper plot, but when the funny part is the “B” it gets overshadowed fast.
So what still keeps you coming back to the show each week (not a jab; I’m honestly curious)?
First of all, season 4 earns them years of good will.
Seriously, though: Barney, Robin, Ted, and a Lily-less Marshall are all awesome. Barney/Marshall isn’t as enjoyable as Ted/Marshall or Barney/Ted, but I love all of the characters save for Lily, who I find tolerable if she’s not a driver of any of the plots.
The un-funniness of this season thus far is separate from the rest of that, though. The Office isn’t quite doing it for me either so far, but I’m not about to drop it. It’s one thing to feel this way about a new show, but one that has shown you how well it can do? Then I find it reasonable to give it time to get better.
I’ll give you points for all of that except Ted, who sucks the goodwill right out of me. ;)
I agree with the nay-sayers. This season has been downright awful and I’m almost at the point where I will stop watching. Barney was the show. Now, he’s boring. And Ted is insufferable now.
I just love the poems in this episode. They are so great. :)