How contaminated is Abby’s lab on NCIS?

I am the opposite of a science-minded individual. I’m one of those people who last took a science the last time it was required of me: one semester of college astronomy. Before that, I hadn’t sat in a science lab since physics class my junior year of high school.

So how is it that I find myself writing a second post about science? I think having a wife in a PhD program pretty much sums that up. I’ve gotten an earful from her about science on TV over the years, and I decided it was high time I shared some of that with you fine folks. Today’s topic? Abby’s lab on NCIS.

Issue number one? Apparently drinking (and eating) in a lab environment is a huge no-no. And while you can argue that she only drinks her Caf-Pow in the outer room, technically that room’s a lot more lab than office, where she does her tech-based investigating, as well as some of her forensics. And if that’s not bad enough, this past week Abby was keeping her gingerbread men cookies in her hood, a sterile environment inside which many sensitive experiments are conducted. Does that sound like a place for cooling treats?

Speaking of food, how about the cranberry recipe she tried to recreate for Thanksgiving using beakers and other assorted lab goodies? Apparently the surface, and the apparatus, that you use to mix chemicals shouldn’t be your first choice when creating holiday dishes. Or non-holiday dishes, for that matter.

Also, while the cold environment is certainly a better deterrent for contamination, it’s probably just bad practice to keep drinks (and doesn’t she keep Bert the hippo in there sometimes, too?) in your lab fridge/freezer; suppose you went to have some of that cranberry sauce for lunch and pulled out the wrong beaker? I think “whoops” doesn’t quite cover that mistake.

The crime I’m less sure about, but which I’m told is a very serious one, is wearing chemical gear for a biological situation (is that true vice versa, too?). I guess equipment made to protect you from a bad mixture of compounds won’t necessarily guard against swine flu. Who knew?

Of course, the gravest transgression comes not in the form of contamination, but rather as what we like to call the Jacob Hood syndrome. It’s a condition whose symptoms are primarily the ability of one person to be an expert in just about every field of science, and common knowledge, imaginable. On this I certainly have to agree, because I do appreciate the hard work and focus that it takes to become proficient in one very narrow field of study. So for Abby to not only know everything about her chosen fields (sociology, forensic science, psychology, and criminology), as hard as that itself is to believe, but also all about computers and beyond? Like I’ve said before, it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world to introduce a new expert or two as needed. Plus, wouldn’t that be stimulating the economy by creating new jobs?

Anyway, that’s all I have, though I know there are tons of other Abby-related — and other show examples — just waiting out there to be mentioned. Lay them on me. I’ve got time … I just earned a bit of a reprieve from the wife!

Clacked by Aryeh S.
on Dec 22, 2009 @ 16:00 EST5EDT