ABC Monday night lineup – Clacking the dream

Some of you seem to take issue with how dismissive I am of oh so many shows that I’ve mentioned along the way in this series. While to a certain extent that’s dictated by an attempt to control just how long I ramble on for, my choices for any particular hour on any particular night are clearly going to be determined, in part, in the same manner that I go about choosing what to watch on TV these days. Yes some of that involves judging a book by its cover, but if we didn’t all do that we’d be flattened by the sheer volume of options available to us on television today.

And other decisions are based on personal taste; some shows just suck. If I eyeballed people for not agreeing with me, most of the country would be suspect for having passed on Studio 60 (which you are, but not for our purposes here).

Anyway, back to the topic at hand: let’s see what Monday night on ABC has to offer.

8:00-8:30 I sometimes wonder, in all my time spent studying the past, which timeslots networks were looking to win, and which they were looking to merely be competitive in. Because some of these shows…. That’s Incredible! boasted not only human, but also animal feats. Yowza! Craig T. Nelson’s Call to Glory bombed, but he’d only have a few years to wait before success came calling on Coach. Hardcastle and McCormick might have made it in today’s White Collar world, while MacGyver just never made any sense to this Generation “Y”-er (sorry!). For my money The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles couldn’t have been any worse than the movies it spawned from, while Dangerous Minds definitely was. Recent attempts at reality and other success like Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, The Drew Carey Show, The Benefactor, Extreme Makeover, Wife Swap, Supernanny, The Bachelor, and Dance War: Bruno vs. Carrie Ann all get a quick book jacket look and discard from me. As does the current juggernaut Dancing with the Stars … I find it sad that Sports Illustrated thought the cast would make for a good addition to its swimsuit issue. All of which at first left me scratching my head. But then I started to think about a great little show, mentioned above, that spent all of one season here before moving on to bigger and better things. Coach lost me when Coach moved on to the pros, but Craig T. Nelson is a champion in my book.

8:30-9:00 Since just about everything on at 8:00PM was longer than thirty minutes, the choice here is obvious, but let’s play the game nonetheless. In 1994, Coach was followed by Blue Skies, a nine episode sitcom that may, or may not, have starred Richard Kind. In 2002, the only other show to start at 8:30 was Whose Line Is It Anyway?, which meant a second helping of Drew Carey following his eponymous show. Exercise complete, Free Play it is.

9:00-9:30 There is shockingly little to choose from here too. Most years ABC aired Monday Night Football on Mondays (weird, right?), so it’s only in the last decade that we’ve been provided with options. Veritas: The Quest didn’t make it to week five, while Emily’s Reasons Why Not speaks for itself. And The Bachelor and Supernanny are not my cup of tea. Surprisingly, that leaves just The Practice as a choice. But the combination of my knowing what’s coming at 9:30 (therefore keeping me from locking into an hour of programming), and my uncertainty at loving the show (I’m still only halfway through my virgin diary, which returns next week) means I’m going to have to pass, at least for now. Free Play me again!

9:30-10:00 I just realized that a lot of you may have guessed incorrectly at what I’m impatiently waiting to slot here. Whoops! Jake in Progress was sad for John Stamos, while Surviving Suburbia was sad for Bob Saget. Ouches all around for Full House! And this is actually NOT when I tell you that I’m a closet Samantha Who? fan…. I tried a few episodes, but I found it all to be very Kelly Bundy — I’ll let you interpret that for yourselves. No, I’m going with my own band of idiots from a little show I like to call Notes from the Underbelly (because that’s its name). Maybe it’s because my wife and I were ourselves expecting during the run of the show, or maybe it’s because there’s no getting around how awesome Rachael Harris is, but Notes is still remembered very fondly around my house.

10:00-11:00 Weird and wild folks. Miracles was a fictional show starring the always disturbing Skeet Ulrich (he’ll never be anything other than the creepy kid from As Good as It Gets to me), while Miracle Workers was a reality show that didn’t click any more for me than Supernanny, The Bachelor, or True Beauty. I tried What About Brian and October Road, and both lived appropriately short lives, while the also too-short Boston Legal is safely ensconced on my Sunday nights. Which leaves just one choice, and in this case it’s the right one. While it’s no The Unusuals, the Castle crew puts a new spin on the staid procedural that has served CBS so well, and I know I’m not alone in loving every minute of it. Except for Castle’s family.

All in all a pretty “light” night, but with the caliber of characters and actors assembled here, it’s sure to be a really good one. What does your perfect Monday night on ABC look like?

Clacked by Aryeh S.
on Feb 11, 2010 @ 12:00 EST5EDT