Merlin – There’s got to be a fart joke we haven’t used yet, somewhere

How do I summarize this episode? How do I even begin? There was a troll, and she was kind of gross, and then there was some sort of convoluted and contrived plot that involved Arthur fainting and fighting and Uther crying and… oh, maybe Ruby and I should break it down for you.

Ruby: I love Sarah Parish‘s troll laugh.

Julia: I love everything about her – her comic timing, the way she alters her voice…. The woman’s a genius. I’m just sad that she went out with a fart and we’ll never be able to have her come back.

Ruby: Poor Uther! Attempting to give his wife a night to remember and rebuffed with a gust of breath so foul that it was green, followed up by a massive fart. The ten-year-old in me went, “Awesome!” I hope no newbies tuned in expecting Thomas Mallory material because Le Morte D’Arthur this is not.

Julia: Pffft. Look, I’m an Arthurian nerd with the best of them, but you can’t be a slave to what’s considered to be “canonical” in Arthurian literature, especially since it was all written after the fact, King Arthur might not have even existed, and Arthurian literature can’t even agree with itself.

Plus, I don’t care how nerdy you are — farting and poop is awesome.

Ruby: Well, Catrina’s enchantment clearly made Uther blind and stupid. I especially loved Uther’s daydreamy smile as he watched Catrina transform into a troll and rip the door off its hinges (and whoever did the sound effects for that scene must have had a blast). When Uther swept his troll bride onto the bed and that dramatic music swelled in the background, I just about died.

But she pulls the old “frame-my-enemy-for-stealing” trick and accuses Merlin of taking her father’s seal. Now, if Uther were not so horny, he might consider the question – what in the world would Merlin want with a seal? ‘Cause, yeah, that’s something of tremendous value to a physician’s apprentice … Merlin could add it to his medieval “stamp collection,” he could use it as a paperweight for his magic spells, he could pull great pranks and write love letters in Catrina’s name. Assuming it’s heavy enough, he could use it to do bicep curls. Seriously, hasn’t Uther known Merlin long enough to at least wonder why on earth Arthur’s loyal servant would steal a seal, of all things (especially since it would be way easier for him to just steal from Arthur)?

Julia: To be fair to Uther, he’s enchanted. To be honest…. he’s pretty stupid even when he isn’t enchanted. Though I like your theories. I wouldn’t mind if Colin Morgan beefed up his biceps a little (or ate a sandwich – though according to interviews, he’s a vegetarian by choice, as well as lactose intolerant and allergic to almost everything under the sun. No wonder the poor guy’s so skinny – he’s limited to tofu and… tofu), but I can just see Merlin, like, trying to impress Arthur by collecting stamps.

“Look Arthur! These are very rare, and I have a whole packet of them! I’m willing to give them to you if you want to start your own collection.”

“Merlin, what on earth would make you think that?”

“I just think you need a hobby besides running people through with swords and accidentally getting yourself encircled. Philately is a perfectly respectable past time….”

“For a moron. Honestly, Merlin.”

“Fine! I’ll keep the very rare seal from the third year of your father’s reign, you prat! See if I ever try to be nice to you again!”

Oh, geez, now I want this to be an episode.

Ruby: Merlin’s reluctance to try Gaius’s potion was played absolutely perfectly by Colin Morgan. Unbelievably adorable.

Julia: God, he really, really is. Every time I see him I just want to wrap him up in a blanket and kiss his face and feed him cookies. Especially when he popped out from under Arthur’s bed with that big, gormless grin. Colin Morgan’s never been cuter.

Also, hel-lo, gratuitous close-up of Colin Morgan’s very, very, very full lips. I know women who would kill for those bad boys. This was really the week of the gratuitous mouth close-ups, wasn’t it? We got one of Bradley James’ not wholly un-kissable lips, too, when he was getting the drop of that potion. Well done, show. You’ve discovered a new way to set fangirl panties ablaze without a single pectoral muscle. (I could hear the sigh of disappointment from every Merlin-watching household when Arthur decided to wear a nightshirt this episode.)

Ruby: To me, this episode was full of cute relationship moments. Arthur couldn’t collect taxes with Gwen staring at him with those big brown eyes. Even after getting yelled at by his dad and step-troll, he probably felt it was all worth it when Gwen came to him and practically told him, “My hero!” When you have a major crush on someone, the smallest sign of affection is like winning the lottery. So lucky Arthur, you’re about to be disinherited, but hey, she likes you!

Jonas and Catrina (in troll form) are incredibly cute together – case in point: that scene where Jonas brings her a special, steaming treat, fresh from the stables! The sight of them chortling together, so delightfully happy and comfortable in their ugliness, makes me grin.

And how about that really awkward but funny hug-attempt and long stare between Merlin and Arthur at the end of the episode?

Julia: You know what, screw it, I think it’s time to go meta on this joint.

To me, this episode is very much about the confusion between real, true love, and fake love, love that you think is real and feels real but in the end is based on an illusion. As far as Uther goes, it’s clear what’s real and what’s fake – his love for Catrina is a passing enchantment, but his love for his son is what’s true and what, in the end, is going to save him. What I find interesting is how easily this could be applied to Arthur. On one hand, clearly in this episode, he and Gwen are fascinated by each other – there’s a lot of infatuation and mutual admiration, but at least on Gwen’s part, it’s based on this illusion she has of Arthur. That’s no to say that Arthur isn’t as kind and noble as the man she saw in the village – far from it. But that’s just part of who he is – it’s the beautiful part. And while maybe unlike Catrina he doesn’t have to take some sort of potion (because he is a good person, no matter how desperately he tries to squash that part of himself down so no one notices. Poor duck), that’s not all of who he is. He’s also a stubborn, spoiled brat, sarcastic, full of himself… and who, like Jonas does for Catrina, sees all of this and is devoted to Arthur in spite of the fact that they know the trollish bits of Arthur? Merlin. It’s Merlin Arthur’s willing to lie for and protect above all others, it’s Merlin he trusts with his life, and if Merlin were around, he’d be voicing his concerns to him, not Gwen. Let’s be honest.

Regardless of if you think that Merlin and Arthur love each other romantically (which I do, personally, though I’m aware I’m not “supposed” to), a clear theme throughout every episode of this show is that there are lots of kinds of love, and most of them blind you. They make you oblivious to who someone is (in the case of, say, Uther and Catrina, or Uther and his love for Morgana), they make you make stupid decisions (Lancelot and Gwen, anyone?), they make you sacrifice others in order to protect someone (Merlin and Gaius). But the truest, strongest, most unbreakable bond of love that exists has always been between Merlin and Arthur, even from the get-go.  Their bond is the whole heart of the show. And unlike the others, they’re not blind to each other. (Or, well, Merlin isn’t blind to Arthur – Arthur’s blind to Merlin, in some ways, which is why I’m dying for the reveal of Merlin’s magic, but the love between the two of them is, I think, the one that’s built upon the most honesty.)

Merlin and Arthur two sides of the same coin, two halves of a whole, the peanut butter to the other’s jelly. They’re destined for each other. (Perhaps as a form of punishment. Hilarious, hilarious punishment that makes for excellent television.) It’s taken Arthur a little longer to cotton on to this (hello, aborted hug of extreme adorable!), but in his defense, he doesn’t have a GIANT DRAGON  explaining it to him. But Merlin knows – he knows Arthur’s the most important thing in his life, and I think Arthur’s starting to realize that the person who loves him the very most is Merlin, because Merlin loves him not only for the man he has the potential to become, like Gwen, but who loves him (grudgingly) for every prattish bit of who he is already. And to me, when you find someone who does that, that’s what love really, really is, regardless of if it’s a sexual, romantic love or just platonic soulmates.

Oh, crap, look at me, putting deep thought into a cracked-out show with a giant talking dragon and a dung-eating troll. Quick! Gaius! Give me a potion to cure this madness!

Clacked by Julia Hass
on May 07, 2010 @ 16:32 EST5EDT