Jamie Foxx is back, spewing his own brand of musicality on American Idol. I wasn’t impressed with him last year and I didn’t expect much from 
him this year. He’s got some interesting ideas, but he was only marginally successful in trying to get his methodologies across to the contestants.
– Lee DeWyze does Seal’s “Kiss From a Rose” from Batman Returns. I never did like this song. I’ve always thought it was all over the place and have yet to understand why anyone really likes it. So it was difficult for me to be objective about Lee’s version. Raspy-ness prevailed and raspy-ness was exuded, but what could Lee have done with this thing? Really?
– Michael Lynche does Michael Jackson’s “Will You Be There?” from Free Willy. Thunk. Whomp, there it is. Left right there on the floor. And, oh! Look! There goes the choir! Buh-bye! *schnooze*
– Casey James does Simon and Garfunkel’s “Mrs. Robinson” from The Graduate. Oh. My. Gordness. This was one of the highlights of the evening for me! After introductions and during rehearsal, Jamie Foxx was watching Casey perform and commented: “While he was singing, I noticed he wasn’t focused. I said (to him) ‘Seduce me. Act as if I’m a woman … look right at me and seduce me.'” Casey replied he would. And then he looked deep into Jamie’s eyes … and sang it again. The! Exact! Same! Way! As! Before! I was laughing my ass off, slapping my knee, guffawing uncontrollably! Nothing freakin’ changed! Casey exhibited the exact same tone! The exact same tempo! The exact same blank face! Casey professed: “It was just a very, very intense moment … it did change the feel of the thing.” What the hell was he talking about … ?!? Nothing freakin’ changed … !!! Hilarious! A new fit of laughter overcame me! More guffaws! More knee slapping! *mcsnort* Oh, my stomach muscles are going to hurt come the morning. (I’m not even going to get into all the jokes and accusations and more between Casey and Kara and the parallels with “Mrs. Robinson.” It’s not worth the space or the effort.)
– Crystal Bowersox does Kenny Loggins’ “I’m Alright” from Caddyshack. Screachy. Screamy. Verging on desperate. Ellen was talking out her ass post-performance: “You took that song and made it better.” No, she didn’t, you goof. From the judges to my wife, everyone obviously heard something in Crystal’s take on the tune but me. It was crap as far as I was concerned. So … what did I miss that everyone else saw? Someone ‘splain it to me, please.
Synopsis of the solo performances: Craptastic. Each and every one of them. Non-descript … forgettable … meh.
On to the duets….
– Lee and Crystal do Swell Season’s “Falling Slowly,” from Once. Nice duet. They played it well. (See video below.) Oh … and Mr. Cameraman? You’re annoying. And I’m dizzy.
– Casey and Michael do Bryan Adams’ “Have You Ever Loved a Woman?” from Don Juan DeMarco. A love song duet … from the guys. Strange, but it brought about stirrings of “To All The Girls I’ve Loved Before” by Julio Iglesias and Willie Nelson. No … I’m not offering any comparison between Casey and Michael and Julio and Willie; it just struck me as a little strange in that way. But did they do well? Not too shabby. And then Ellen had to go and cause a groan-inducing “ugh” that welled up from the bottom of my feet right out my throat: “Well … as a matter of fact, yes … I have loved a woman.” I’m asking in the same vein I asked regarding Crystal’s solo performance above: Did I miss something? Because everyone was laughing but me after this proclamation from Ellen. And I just thought it was stupid.
Look: The judges gushed over all the duets. And, for the most part, I agreed with them. So … I only really have one important question:
Hey … Idol Powers That Be: What the flock … ?!? You can plainly see the contestants can sing a lick or two in a duet … yet you continue to torture the millions in your audience with un-flavored tofu-tasteless group songs that are freakin’ lip sync’d! Last time I ask: What the @*$&# … ?!?!?
Synopsis of the duet performances: Spiffy. Nifty. Neat-o. Each and every one of them. (But … this is an individual competition … not a duet contest. So … I’m confused. Now what do we do? Does this mean the Idols might be in trouble come their inevitable solo careers?)
I’m exhausted. And, oh … Michael Lynche? You’re toast. Finally. Buh-bye.
Clacked by Michael Noble 
on May 12, 2010 @ 10:00 EST5EDT
Of all the movie tunes, in all the towns, in all the world; they have to pick these?
And good for you for not getting into the whole Simon thing about “willies.” Surprisingly adult of you. Or maybe you just forgot, in the midst of all the redonkulousness of last night.
I am so sick and bloody tired of the Kara/Casey comments. Why would Casey pick that song just when the “ordeal” was almost behind us? Kara just loves it when everything is about her. She rolled around in that Mrs. Robinson BS like a hog in a mud puddle. Blurgh!
I hope you right about Mike, Mike.
*POST AUTHOR*
Don’t put the “adult” tag on me, Tara.
Someone will make me live up to it.
Just one more week … then we can nix the Casey / Kara LoveFest. Hold tight … we’re almost there …..
The duets were pretty amazing with Lee and Crystal’s being the best. Mike and Casey’s duet was good but I was more impressed with Casey’s guitar work. I love me some fine acoustic sounds.
As for who goes home tonight.. I feel confident that Lee and Crystal are safe. I hope you are right about Mike but my guts says Casey is a goner.
Oh and I agree with Tara.. I am so beyond over the Kara/Casey crap… Enough already! Ugh!
I haven’t followed this season very closely, but I failed to hop on board the Casey train when it passed by … I really don’t get it, and Michael’s comments had me laughing hysterically! It was so true! I liked Lee and Crystal’s duet, but no one can touch my Bryan Adams….
*POST AUTHOR*
Don’t worry, Jeni: Casey’s head back to Texas come next week. It’ll be over before you know it.
Dunno what it was I liked about Crystal’s Caddyshack number but I thought it was kind of fun. I think I actually liked her boyfriend’s zubaz a bit more, though. Not her best performance but I liked it. LOVED their duet! Loved the guys’ duet as well but must agree with you…a tad awkward, especially considering the aqua jacket Casey had on earlier and the “love scene” between he and Jamie Foxx. Did Seacrest direct this episode or what!?
Kudos to you on your mention of the craptasic lip synched performances. Bring on the duets!
*POST AUTHOR*
You were waiting for a “slouch” reference, Marnie … I was waiting for a “doodie” reference.
We can’t have everything …..
I liked the duets but didn’t get the solo choices. I like what one of my friends from another place said…. Casey should have slapped Kara down by saying he was thinking of Shania when he picked the song. That would have been classic.
I really enjoyed the whole show….. I know I know… it makes me a freak.
*POST AUTHOR*
The solo choices were just perplexing, Gloria.
Someone understood them. We did not …
I liked Crystal’s performance (watched on youtube since I had to work last night). I didn’t get up and woot woot! like Ellen did. And puh-leez! Better than the original? I hope Kenny shows up tonight to b*tch slap her for such a stupid remark.
I like Lee. I think he’s really cute and has potential, but he needs to focus on staying on key. His rasp covers it a lot, but like Daughtry, that boy needs some vocal training STAT!! (Daughtry had rocker pitch problems and obviously got some help or his tone is produced to death on cds.)
And that’s all I have to say about that.
Oh, and this: Tonight we need to expel a huge BM. Just sayin’!
*POST AUTHOR*
Big Mike’s gone.
You’re happy now … right, Riss?
Do you have a Lee poster on your wall? I wonder …..
Well, don’t we have quite the potty mouth? But I feel ya.
You know I don’t know a lick about music BUT I do know that the change up that happened with “I’m Alright” ruined that song completely. What, why, was it an upbeat that got turned into a downbeat? WTF? (see…now you got me doing it) That song has always picked me up off the chair and had me swinging to the beat. Last night I was planted firmly.
I don’t get the Jamie Fox / mentor connection. I’m sorry but everytime I look at his face straight on I picture that drag queen he used to play on “In Living Color”. I could hardly watch the Casey / Jamie exchange because of it.
You’re wrong about Mikey oh wise one. The pretty boy gets the boot tonight.
*POST AUTHOR*
Oh, Lois?
You’re wrong about Mikey oh wise one. The pretty boy gets the boot tonight.
I’m waiting for you. Patiently. With a nice plate of crow.
I’ve acquired a taste for crow thank you very much.
The solos were just dreadful, I totally agree with you. Jamie Foxx as mentor makes as much sense as Miley Cyrus as mentor. I didn’t get the whole T-shirt thing, maybe I blinked when they explained it. It seemed stupid. And the schtick was amusing last year and seemed to help Gokey but it seemed to go right over Casey’s head.
I give the night a “meh” and think it’s Mike’s turn to leave. At least I hope so.
*POST AUTHOR*
I’m right there with you on the Jamie Foxx thing, Kwizy. I’m just not on board with it. Some of the things he preaches make sense … but there’s something there that doesn’t quite sit right …..
Geesh Rupe…tell us how you REALLY feel.
The whole review had me smiling! I woulda been laughin but I have NO energy left – battling evil allergies ALL day!!
I liked Crystals number…don’t ask me why, but I did. Her duet with Lee was fanfreakintabulous!!!!!! If I had an ipod thingy I’d be d/l’n it for sure!!!!
The rest of the show was just eh for me.
*POST AUTHOR*
*goes back up and re-reads the post above*
I thought I did tell you how I really felt.
Glad I could lighten your day, Beth. Come on over anytime!
…. stupid allergies ….
Well we agreed on the one going home that’s for sure!
Back off of Jamie, man! ;~)
*POST AUTHOR*
Dear Loretta:
The only way I will “back off of Jamie” is if he gets up into my face and says to me “Act as if I’m a woman … look right at me and seduce me.”
I’ll be backin’ off then, you best believe …..