Why Sex and the City 2 made me excited for the Return of White Collar

I love White Collar, and since Last Comic Standing and Persons Unknown aren’t exactly making me fall in love with Summer TV, I need something warm and familiar to get me through the night. Luckily, White Collar is having its second season premiere on July 13, so I only have a few more weeks before I finally get to gaze at Matt Bomer on a weekly basis once again.

However it isn’t Bomer’s crazy eyes that I’m looking forward to the most. Nor is it the chemistry between Neal and Peter, or even the fact that the whole Kate storyline is dead. It’s the return of Willie Garson as Mozzie. While Mozzie is a great character in his own right (his scenes with Elizabeth are fantastic), I really just need something to get the taste of Sex and the City 2 out of my mouth.

Yes, my insane desire to actually leave the house sans child led me to see Sex and the City 2 with my sister and her friends against my better judgment. I knew it was a stupid idea, but it wasn’t until the movie was over, nearly three hours later, that I realized how colossally idiotic of a decision watching this movie actually was. This isn’t a movie review site, so I won’t get too into it, other than to say this: Sex and the City 2 could be marketed to Jihadists under the title, No, Seriously, This Is Why We Need To Attack Those Fuckers.

Afterward, I left the theater feeling broken, confused, a little dirty, and like everybody associated with it owed the world a personal apology. I haven’t quite figured out how Sarah Jessica Parker and Cynthia Nixon can make reparations, but as for Willie Garson (who played a very small role in this travesty), coming back as Mozzie is apology enough.

Moz is a much better sidekick than Stanford Blatch ever was: He has a bitchin’ alias (Dante Haversham), and he lives in a storage shed. A storage shed, people. I’m a forgiving person, and a little more of this is all I really need:

Clacked by Kona Gallagher
on Jun 23, 2010 @ 16:01 EST5EDT