So You Think You Can Dance – The final competitive performances

Three left: Lauren Froderman, Robert Roldan, and Kent Boyd.

This episode, chock-full of four final performances by each of the contestants (Vote for your favorite below!), was the culmination of a season. That’s what we ultimately came for.

But before we get to the final showcases on this second-to-last edition of So You Think You Can Dance, I have something that’s chaffing my cookies … a gripe about the sometimes wonderful, sometimes annoying, cry-me-a-river, ever-interesting judge Mia Michaels:

What a beautiful woman Mia is. She has the face of an angel. She has strong convictions about dance. She can turn on the charm and woo you when you least expect it. She can also scald you with a vitriolic critique, leaving you smoldering in her wake. And all of these things I love about her.

<< rant >> What I didn’t love about her was the display of that garish tattoo on her right arm. She looked hideously scarred. She looked as if her entire arm was in pain each time the cameraman set her in frame. That tattoo looks terrible on such a handsome looking woman … and I really hope that was the last time this season I see her bare-armed and looking trampy. I have too much respect for her to let a little (lot!) ink get in the way of my feelings about her. << / rant >>

And so … let’s off, to see what our contestants had in store for us this evening.

Starting things off was another freakin’ ethnic dance that means nothing to any of us. Kent flailed mightily from the get-go, and all-star Lauren kept right in sync with him. If I don’t see another cultural piece, I won’t shed any tears. Promise. Good riddance.

But! We get a counter to Kent’s flailing with a riotous routine for Lauren and Twitch! A political debate-themed dance that was terrifical. *sings* “Fun, frolickous, free! No ethnicity!”

Robert and all-star Mark put on a jazz routine next. And to Devo‘s “Whip It?” Really? Huge Devo fan here. Fortunately, however, the meaninglessness and general sloppiness of this choreographic mess won’t have me thinking about it at future listenings of this tune. Thankfully.

After a seemingly frantic, try-too-hard solo from Kent, we’re offered a puzzling piece by …

… Robert, Lauren . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . and a pillow.

Sorry. This dance routine was dumb. It’s as if the pillow — used as an anthropomorphic prop — was the fifth wheel in the mix, trying to win over one dancer or the other. Trust me: the sketch would have worked just fine without the pillow. Better, even. What inspired choreographer Dee Caspary to use it is beyond my comprehension, but it didn’t make sense. At all.

Kent and Lauren then pair up (without a pillow) to do a Mandy Moore/Huey Lewis “Hip To Be Square” number … complete with jeans, white shirts, and dorky nerd glasses. (The winner of the routine? Lauren. She out-danced Kent.) This was a hippy-dippy bit that was lackluster and *meh*. Want proof? When the contestants dancing the routine have to try and convince the judges they did well and had fun afterward (and yes, they did) … well … you know there was something wrong with the offering to begin with.

Pause for solo, Robert this time. And he did much better than Kent did before him. The difference? There was nothing forced about Robert’s solo.

Ladies and Gentlemen: The last three performances of the evening….

Choreographer Stacey Tookey puts together a rousing story for Kent and all-star Allison. And what a routine it was. It was the most mature performance we’ve ever seen Kent offer, either on stage or afterward dialoging with Cat Deeley and the judges … and I say this in the best way context. “The Goofiness Of The Kent” witnessed throughout the season was nowhere to be seen. Instead, it manifested itself into some kind of artistry — in Kent’s dance and in Kent’s mien. I noticed. I’m sure the audience noticed. The judges certainly noticed. Post-routine, Adam Shankman proclaimed Kent not just a dancer, but “an artist.” It doesn’t get any better than that.

Lauren gets to her solo after a little Cat chat. Her strength … her moves … her everything … all there in her solo. Said it before and here comes the broken record again: the only way she’s not going to win is if the bubblegum contingent of fans for Kent overwhelm the vote.

After her solo, Lauren partners with Pasha to put on a ballroom stint. Well … I think it was. I wasn’t quite certain … because it was so much more than ballroom. It was jet-fuel powered, all-thrusters-at-full ballroom. Scorching and powerful.

Then, Robert’s pairing with all-star Kathryn? Broadway. Freakin’ Broadway. But! I will admit, it wasn’t horrendous. It was siding on the not-so -bad for me. (Never liked West Side Story from which the routine was taken … so I was a bit surprised I enjoyed it at all. Maybe I’m growing, culturally. *snort* I know — I almost couldn’t type that.)

Robert and Kent pair up for the final routine of the evening, committing something called “Malevos” (translation: “gangster”). Supposedly, the dance was some sort of manly South American warm-up between two men to prepare a male dancer for his turn with his female counterpart. It looked like some old fashioned Hungarian testosterone-pumped war dance meant to be won, not fought to a draw. But it was what it was — and it was almost interesting.

With the phones tucked snugly on their cradles (tell me who does that anymore *Michael raises his hand*) and the votes tabulated, we await the last episode of the SYTYCD season. Because, in the end, that’s what it’s all about << clap, clap >>

Are you excited for the finale? I am….

Clacked by Michael Noble
on Aug 12, 2010 @ 12:00 EST5EDT