Just like Eminem, guess who’s back, back again? This season, Ruby and I just couldn’t wait for Merlin to come to American television. Who cares if Merlin is only airing in the UK? Enterprising fans such as ourselves are taking to the internet, and we can’t help but watch early. We’re weak-willed and desperate for more campy medieval romps filled with CGI monsters and battles between good and evil, what can we say.
Julia: I made a resolution to myself this season. “Self,” I said, “let’s try to remember, however much you think they are, Merlin and Arthur are not boyfriends, and they’re not flirting.” I decide that I’m going to banish the idea once and for all, and then … we open on Merlin and Arthur, looking yummy and slightly damp, and instead of going, “Oh, crap, there are thousands of dead people here,” they’re verbally pulling each other’s pigtails. Followed by them having a conversation about each other’s rear ends.
I think this show is mocking me.
Ruby: Was I the only one laughing hysterically when Arthur asked Merlin, “Is your little bottom sore?” Just thinking about that makes me double over and cry from laughing so hard. I know that line will be interpreted in a couple different ways….
Julia: Seriously, what is the other way? I need to know the other way. And why are they discussing each other’s butts in front of other people? And then there was the whole scene with the cloth and bucket where Arthur decides to do a little strip-tease (which is just like a matter of course, apparently), then tenderly wipe down Merlin’s face. But lest you think it’s too gay, he’ll dump a bucket on top of his head. No homo!
Didn’t there used to be some sort of girl Arthur liked? Jen? Gwen? Gwen … something? I think I vaguely remember her being Arthur’s true love but, eh. Whatever.
Ruby: I hope Gwen gets some good character development this season. And by that, I do not mean curtseying and saying “M’lady” and getting sent out of the room. I understand that many fans did not like the way the Gwen-Arthur romance was done (i.e., very suddenly). It was written like a high school crush — like Rachel and Jesse on Glee — a sudden infatuation with the two texting each other, “OMG, IM SO IN LUV WITH U.” It may feel like an epic, undying love to them, but not to outside observers. I hope this season the writers give Gwen some really good, character- and relationship-building material so that what she feels for Arthur (and Lancelot) is clarified — and vice versa.
Julia: When you get down to it, the writers made a massive mistake. They wanted Gwen and Arthur to come from different worlds so that when they got together it would be all epic and they’d grow as people, but instead they made them so far apart that no amount of going back and trying to re-write history is going to make them make sense together. They’ve written Arthur’s perfect match, and it’s Merlin. But since it’s a “family show” (whatever that means, I guess gay and families don’t mix), they can’t have merlin and Arthur hooking up, but they can’t break that essential bond because that’s everything the show is built on. My suggestion, then would be to give up on Gwen and Arthur’s “true love,” because they’re in a corner where nothing they do will make their love make sense. There’s no shame in having Gwen and Arthur get married because it’s convenient and they care about each other even if they’re not meant to be. And it leaves Gwen open to have her little side-affair with Lancelot. Problem solved.
But if the excuse for not having Merlin and Arthur hooking up is that it’s a family show, can we please have them talk like it’s a family show instead of having blatant innuendo that was clearly written in just to make me tug at my hair and wonder what I had done to deserve this, and if I had been very good or very, very bad. Because this teasing with the swords and the talk of each other’s rear ends and the flirty eyes are just … they’re mean, okay? They’re mocking me and that’s mean.
Ruby: The Merlin writers must have cackled like Hamlet’s witches when they wrote that.
Julia: Oh, right! Witches! There was, like, a plot to this, right? And there were some legit evil people, not just “nameless CGI creature of the week.” We even got a new one in King Cenred (Tom Ellis), who I have to say, is a grade A regulation hottie. I kind of get the feeling that, uh, Morgause convincing him to join with her wasn’t exactly a hardship.
Ruby: Frankly, it’s always good to introduce a sexy villain. Always. And I love how Morgause laughed when Cenred said he doesn’t think with his “sword.”
Clacked by Julia Hass 
on Sep 12, 2010 @ 08:11 EST5EDT
I wondered if you guys would be following the UK table, and you are. Yay!
A lovely dialogue for an epic of an episode. (Seriously! What have they done with the cinematography?)
Also: That promo pic makes me cry. Why does Colin look like a monkey? He was so epically pretty this episode — what in God’s name did they do make him look like a monkey? It doesn’t make sense! D:
Me thinks it’s to make Morgana/Katie McGrath stand-out more as Morgause/Emilia Fox’s gorgeousness is making a havoc on this photo shoot ;)
I haven’t watched it yet, and I will do so soon.
I think the only thing that bothers me about this show is there is absolutely no character growth on Arthur’s part. He learns to trust Merlin and his instinct in one episode, and in the very next episode Arthur is questioning Merlin and reminding him that he’s just a servant.
Otherwise, I love the show.
*POST AUTHOR*
I’ve heard a lot of people argue this, but something Bradley James brought up when we interviewed him (that I thought was very interesting and astute) is that Arthur really has no idea that Merlin’s useful. He has no idea that Merlin’s saved his life. As far as he knows, Merlin’s just as useless as when he showed up at Camelot three or four years ago, and he hasn’t learned to keep his mouth shut either. The fact that Arthur still, in spite of this, trusts Merlin implicitly and considers him his friend (albeit secretly, and never voicing it) shows a lot of maturity, though to our modern (and all-knowing) eyes it’s frustrating and seems like Arthur’s just an unappreciative jerk.
Cendred’s “castle” needs to be mentioned! His place looks the most historically accurate medieval fortress in this show. What Show, you finally hired consultants from the academe? Now, let’s see that applied to the painfully inaccurate Camelot, which I suspect has indoor plumbing. BTW, we now know where funds from this show went to… Katie McGrath’s wardrobe. A new dress every scene! Oh and her first scene, so her captors didn’t let her take a bath but she got to wear that purple dress from Season 2. She was wearing the plain green dress when she disappeared! Obviously, the powers that be in this show are boys, who don’t know that girls remember every single dress Morgana has worn, and when (white dress in seeing-Uther-first-time had the sleeves redone, btw.)
Plus, was I the ONLY one screaming “DRAGON, DRAGON, DRAGON!” in that scene, where Merlin was all alone?
Lastly, I love that this review is longer! I would love to see the first draft of this — I bet it was even funnier! I will never understand this show as much as I do after reading your reviews :)
*laughs* Oh I’ve missed your reviews! It’s great to see them again! :D
One thing — the dripping little boy? Scared me just about as much as Mordred did, but there’s one thing: Did anyone else notice the resemblence to Arthur? The blond hair, the pretty blue eyes? I kind of choked on that bit. Seriously, Uther! How the hell did you drown a child that probably looks just like your son did at that age?! *whacks Uther*
I’m so thrilled to see the most epic so-called bromance again. Even if I too have to keep reminding myself that this is a “family show.” *snorts* Family show, my left eye. If this was a family show, the eye-sex wouldn’t be so flipping obvious!
Highly entertaining! See you next week! :D
We have to cut some things for space, but one of my observations was that this episode sometimes reminded me of Lord of the Rings – and sometimes just of The Ring. The dripping dead boy and the decaying queen in the well … that was so The Ring – I haven’t seen that movie in years, but some images stick with you.
I love your reviews. I had to laugh when Julia kept going on about the family show aspect and them mocking her. Hee! I swear the eyesex just got hotter this episode and them talking about bottoms. I can only imagine Bradley getting that script and howling laughter about it. So funny.