American Idol – Finally, Jacob is history

Before we got to the nitty-gritty of the Top 5 elimination, we had a lot to endure to get there:

We had to endure Ryan Seacrest hocking Steven Tyler’s new autobiography. *groan* We had to endure the Ryan Seacrest / Randy Jackson cupcake exchange. *eyesh* We had to endure Chef Gordon Ramsay judging the food the of the Idols. *gag* I personally had to endure Lady Antebellum’s every individual note. *snore* We had to endure JLo kicking glass and flailing on the floor. *sigh*

Fortunately, things got interesting when Jimmy Iovine got to critique each of the Idols’ previous night’s performances. And I was on board with a lot of what Jimmy had to say. That is … until he assessed Jacob Lusk: “… both songs were slightly off …” What? What? “Slightly off?” Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy … “slightly” is a word which modifies many, many things … but it doesn’t begin to describe the type of off night Jacob gave us. He wasn’t having an off night; he was committing the murder of songs.

But down to the business at hand — the ousting of “The Lack-Lusker” and his swishy, swishy ways.

Now … don’t get me wrong; I’m not using “swishy” in a derogatory manner. I’m using it because that’s exactly what Jacob did on the stage. He swished and sashayed up and down and all around during his two songs Wednesday night … and has been for a few weeks now. The thing is: swishing and sashaying is not what American Idol is all about. Neither is taking on dual roles within a tune. Nor seeing if it’s at all possible to swallow three microphones at once in public view. Simply put, Jacob just didn’t cut the mustard.

One more thing: One of my biggest pet peeves about Idol happens right around this time during the season and, sure enough, it happened this episode. One of the saddest, most pathetic moments on the show is when Ryan Seacrest separates the Idols into groups then cajoles a contestant to choose a particular group he or she thinks should be at the bottom of the vote-getting pile. It’s reprehensible. Hideous. Dastardly. Terrible. This segment should be outlawed on the show. Neither I — nor anyone else — has any desire to watch someone squirm uncomfortably at such a request. Seacrest should be ashamed to conduct such a charade.

So. Any doubt Jacob should be leaving? If you believe there is some mystery surrounding his ouster, all you need to do is view the video below of his swan song and keep an eye on Randy Jackson trying to figure out where Jacob’s headed with it. At the 3:43 mark, you’ll see Randy get confuzzled at what he hears. And at 3:56, even James, Haley, Lauren and Scotty don’t know what he’s doing by evidence of their reactions.

This was not a good way to say goodbye to your fans.

Clacked by Michael Noble
on May 06, 2011 @ 13:00 EST5EDT