I used to have this running argument with my husband every time we’d watch Grey’s Anatomy. He loathed Derek Shepherd, has from the get-go. He insisted that Derek was a no good user who emotionally abused Meredith Grey.
I would always defend Derek, saying that he was damaged but had good intentions, that he was trying, for example, to do right in giving his marriage to Addison one more chance after he’d been AWOL from their relationship for some time. I almost gave up on him when he dumped Meredith after she said she needed time before she could marry him in the wake of having Friday Night Lights’ Coach Taylor blow up in front of her, of having her mother tell her she was a disappointment because she was ordinary then die soon thereafter, not long after Meredith attempted suicide.
But then came the house of candles and the Post-It Note “marriage” in the locker room and I was ready to let bygones be bygones. Meredith and Derek were both dark and twisty people but they understood one another. Plus, showrunner Shonda Rhimes had said she wasn’t going to mess around with the couple any further, that they were “together forever” and all that jazz.
Then this. Seriously?
Not only did Meredith Grey lose her job — then swiftly get it back courtesy of the Chief, the only person willing to sacrifice for her (mostly because of his tremendous guilt about his affair with her mother, and the fact that she messed with the clinical trial to benefit his wife) — but she lost her husband and her baby, all because she led with her heart. Yes, this professional, capable, smart surgeon tampered with the clinical trial, a trial which Derek hoped would lead to a cure to Alzheimer’s which plagued Meredith’s mother and which they both feared could be potentially lurking inside Meredith’s head. She didn’t intentionally give Adele the trial medication because she wanted something for herself. And that’s got to count for something.
To have Derek sanctimoniously freeze Meredith out was reprehensible. After Zola was taken from them by the social worker, Derek simply walked out of the room, leaving Meredith alone, to wrap her own arms around her body and hug herself … though she wound up being comforted by, of all people, Alex, the guy who dimed her out in the first place. If Owen, who desperately wants a family, could accompany his wife as she has an abortion, to hold her hand even though he vehemently disagrees with her decision, why couldn’t Derek do the same for his spouse?
This dump-on-Meredith thread has gotten old. When, after two hours of this, Meredith was heartlessly left by Derek in her time of need, again — in spite of his tepid words in front of the social worker about how Meredith was the “best mother” a child could have and that “If there is a flaw with her, it’s that she loves people so much she’ll do anything for them” — I thought, “I really don’t want to watch another season of the lead couple freezing out one another in the corridors of Seattle Grace.” This turn of events is maddening because not only does it transform Derek into a thoroughly unlikeable character, but it makes Meredith the object of pity. Again. And I’m sick of pitying Meredith Grey. I’m sick of having her abandoned and betrayed by everyone with whom she’s close (her mother, her father, her lover then husband, Cristina last season, Alex). I expected more from the Grey’s writers after last season’s strong showing.
The only glimmers of freshness during the two hours of Grey’s (which felt more like four hours): The Chief taking the fall for Meredith and a broadcast TV show actually going through with a major character having an abortion. (They’re frequently discussed but rarely occur.) Perhaps the writers shouldn’t have chosen to use a sinkhole as an analogy.
Clacked by Meredith O'Brien 
on Sep 23, 2011 @ 14:00 EST5EDT
It’s not that I ever bought into the “McDreamy” title for Derek, but last night his behavior was at a all time low. I expect the character to be angry in the SL because of what Meredith did, but this was beyond horrible. His behavior was one of which I think Derek deserves no female character’s love/respect on the show, past or present, Meredith especially. I will always love MerDer. To me they will always be Grey’s Anatomy’s “First Couple” but as far as the character goes, I don’t know if Derek Shepherd will ever truly make his way back into my good graces whether MerDer work it out or not, and in terms of the SL, think he would make a far worse parent than Meredith would ever. Meredith is full of understanding and compassion, Derek more times than not, displays little to none to those he loves the most. And while I’m at it, thought the GA writers did a fairly good job of assassinating Bailey’s character last night as well. I am beyond tired of her getting on her self righteous, sanctimonious high horse when it comes to others, and her unnecessary bashing/trashing of Meredith was beyond unlikable. Shockingly it looks like Bailey and Derek will continue the flat out unlikable behavior in at least the next episode as well. Shonda Rhimes recently said in the end, MerDer’s Post-It vows will mean something to them, but watching Derek callously break his “no running ever” vows and coldly turn on Meredith last night, makes me dread even watching the character again in the following weeks. No wonder ratings continue to disappoint. Eight seasons in and “Shondaland” still doesn’t seem to “get it” when it comes to moving these characters and couples forward in well written relationships and SLs without making them change up so drastically, they are barely what we once knew, and definitely not what we want to invest in anymore.
I could not agree more. As for me I have serious doubts if I am going to spend more money downloading from iTunes to watch anything regarding Shonda whatever.
Well, because of my own views on abortion, I did find that part of the show sickening. Here’s everyone talking about “protecting” Meredith, and Alex needing people to “have his back.” Who protected the baby? No one. Maybe I missed it, but I did not even hear a discussion of Cristina having the baby and giving it up for adoption. I think that aspect bothered me the most. That two educated, healthy, compassionate adults could not come up with that idea? Let’s just kill it, because that’s the ONLY WAY! I think I’ll be hooked on the show till the end but like you said, the 2 hours did feel like 4. Also, if Torres would just, like, have a headache or not feel well every once in a while, it might help with the believability of the car accident saga last season.
I honestly thought Derek would go back to Mer after his couple of “alone” nights in the new house. He not only left her alone in a time of need, he left her alone with a new baby, he left them both. He wants a family but he abandons them at the first serious bump in the road. If I were Mer, I’d be the one concerted about him not being trustworthy not the other way around. How is Mer supposed to raise a child with this guy when she can’t trust he will stick around to at least try to understand her?
Derek problem was always seeing things in white and black, and being too proud of his work (remember the other clinical trial in which Mer didn’t deserve anything out of it not even a thanks because she was “just an intern” until Bailey made him see otherwise?) Meredith did a stupid thing yes (well I think she did a stupid thing in not covering up, not in the act itself), but it’s not the first stupid thing she has done and Derek knew this before he married her.
Very disappointed, I hope they fix this in a believable manner.
Maria:
I don’t agree that the stupid thing was covering it up … Her decision to switch the meds was incredibly stupid. Sure, I get the emotional choice, and I’d like to think that I would have made the same one. But I also would be livid if I were in Derek’s shoes. Meredith’s choice, as righteous as it was, could have ruined ALL of their careers. It’s great to be a world renowned surgeon when you can’t get a job because your wife cheated the system of YOUR trail to get meds for your mentor’s wife.
Yeah I guess I should have specified, even tho the act of tampering the trial was stupid, I feel the more stupider decision was to not lie about it when confronted, hence unleashing hell on the trial and their careers. Once she had decided on it, she should’ve seen it through (imho).
I’d also have been livid were I Derek, but after a couple of days I’d probably have calmed down enough to try to understand why the person I love most did what she did. I guess that is the part me (and other people) don’t understand. Altho from what it’s been shown so far, Derek name has in no way been questioned during the whole process.
Fair point. But Derek is a prideful guy. I think it’s an example of more of the same.
It’s funny … Derek’s best moments are usually standing beside Mark.
Mark is a horrible friend. He has slept with Addison while Derek was still very much married, got her pregnant, came to Seattle, rubbed it in his face, has slept with most of Derek’s sisters, hit on Meredith, and now is still going after Mer’s little sis Lexie. The fact that Derek stands by Mark when Mark openly has called Callie his “best friend” seems icky to me. I find Mark/Der’s friendship weak and Derek simply needs to man-up because the act of abandonment of his family, not standing by them is the big deal here, not standing by a guy who’s been less than a friend in the past. The fact is, Der’s career was not ruined, he can continue to do trials if he chooses, so the whole not understanding what his wife Mer did when her history with Richard is one MUCH more complex than being a “mentor” like Chief is to Derek is simply ridiculous. Her relationship with Richard has been since childhood and Derek is too thick to get this and holds it against Mer to the point of walking out on not only Mer, but his baby Zola is why the writers have effed up on Derek seriously and have made him someone less than honorable in this SL.
First: Isn’t this Christiana’s second abortion? Didn’t her and Dr. “My shoulder is messed up” and apparently I’m a Homophobia; have an aborted child? Her having a second abortion doesn’t endear me to her one bit. If you are that dead set against it, they make surgeries that help dramatically, and being a doctor, I’d think you should know that by now.
Second: I thought Owen’s argument was not that she wanted to have an abortion, but that she completely removed him from the discussion. As if he opinions were irreverent. I’m all for a woman’s right to choose, but once you enter in a marriage, you enter into a partnership, and that other person’s voice needs to be heard. A discussion needs to take place. Yang needs to stop doing whatever the hell she wants and getting away with it. That was my biggest problem with the episode. I’m tired of her acting like an arrogant spoiled brat and getting her way. Apparently Altman is the only one who sees this.
Derek has a right to be pissed. Not only did Meredeth mess with his trial, which (to him) was really all about saving her, but she did so behind his back. She also risked not only her future, but his, and EVERYONE else at that hospital plus their adopted baby. Not to mention the massive amount of people who could have been saved if not for her selfish actions. How would you have felt if that was your mother or father, or child not getting the meds that could have made them better, but not because of the selfish actions of one egotistical, selfish, person? What if the cure for cancer had been discovered, but thrown away, or at the very least delayed by a few years, while someone YOU cared about died, all because some full of them-self doctor screwed with the results? I can empathize with her decision, but she needs to face the consequences of her actions for once. I’m tired of tv shows showing the “stars” making terrible decisions, then getting away with it, all being called a hero. She potentially screwed over millions of people because for her mommy and daddy issues. Should Derek stand by her? Yes, he’s her husband, that’s what he signed up for when her married her. But everyone else in the hospital should be on Alex’s side, because he was the only one who acted responsibly. The problem with ethics, is that it isn’t black and white, and sometimes the bigger picture needs to be addressed.
Cristina did not have an abortion with Dr Burke. She had a miscarriage and lost a fallopian tube while losing the baby. Just to clarify. So while we can question how a very smart woman, a doctor and gifted surgeon chooses not to be so smart in her choices of protection against unwanted pregnancy, we can’t accuse her of an abortion with Burke in the S2 season because that did not happen.
Burke was not homophobic. Isaiah Washington made homophobic remarks. You are mixing character and actor here.
I like your distinction. Yes, Derek should 100% stand by his wife after maybe a few days of fuming and a discussion. Especially after he manipulated her into getting a legal marriage to get the baby, even though she didn’t want to. He wanted to be her husband, he should live up to it.
I would understand everyone in the hospital (except Christina and the Chief, because, come on) being upset with Meredith. I get Bailey being mad. That’s fine. I get Alex’s remorse too. I just can’t deal with the “stable men” of this show. Derek has always been a borderline douche, and he went over the line last season. Owen, eh, I don’t know. He’s getting better though.
I so want to break-up with this show. I’ve never been big on Mer-Der, or Meredith in general. But now, I love good Christina/Meredith moments, I want Meredith to find her contentment, and I want Karev to realize he’s a good man. I just don’t want to keep putting myself through how annoying this show has become.
I’m done with Derek. He’s never going to change and grow up. Let Meredith move on with Zola and maybe with a new man in her life. Someone who doesn’t put her through so much crap and still call it “love”.
So, to get things straight:
Meredith tampered with the trial, endangered her and his career, killed a medication which could have saved countless people and ruined the hospitals reputation.
And Baily and Derek are the bad guys for not forgiving her right away?
Well tbh, I don’t think she killed the medication, I’m sure someone else will pick up where he left and restart the trials.
LoL .Izzie got into a relationship with a patient., tampered with his files so that he could receive another patients heart, involved her co workers and her boss Bailey who basically had to “vaguely” tell the Chief the news in order for the hospital not to lose it’s rights to continue to perform transplants, watched as her co workers were punished and only after her boyfriend (and patient) dies, confesses and quits. Let us not forget in his attempt to figure out just exactly HOW Izzie was messing with the test results, Dr Burke was shot in the process and darn near lost his career. So for ALL of this, Izzie stays at home a couple of weeks, makes muffins, gets 8 million dollars and comes back ONLY after Bailey (the same woman holding Meredith in such high and mighty judgment now) goes to the Chief to plead her case and goes to ask her to come back, so while Bailey barely seems to have a concern when other doctors punch patients fathers, take hearts, hide other doctors shaking hands and perform surgeries they aren’t qualified to do, remove appendixes from their co-workers… YES! I DO expect Bailey to at least treat Mer the same as ALL the others who have done almost equal if not worse in the past. Let’s be a little consistent here. Half of what the others did could have cost the hospital not only lawsuits, millions of dollars, but rights to practice medicine as well. So I have a MAJOR problem with Bailey getting over sanctimonious on ONE doctor in particular while basically letting the others go without much problem. As far as Derek, he has a right to be angry, but when his baby Zola wakes up in the morning in tears, and the only one who there looking after her is her mother Meredith while Derek goes off (AGAIN) to pout in the woods, when he decided to abandon not only his wife, but child, then yeah sorry, he’s a McDouche plain and simple, and his over reaction is in part why the child he isn’t even looking after to begin with was taken out of the home he no longer lives in. Hope it was all worth it, but for me, it wrecked his character.
Well to be fair to Bailey, she did have a big problem when Christina got off from the Burke-hand coverup with basically a verbal reprimand. I agree about Izzie and the whole interns debacle tho.
I think there is a big difference between LVAD-Gate and the Alz trial though. Everyone in the hospital knew about Izzie’s and Denny’s relationship. Yet none of the attending surgeons or the Chief stepped in and made sure there was no chance for Izzie to even get tempted to use her position as a doctor at Seattle Grace to help a patient she was obviously involved with. Bailey was supervising the interns, Richard and Addison had agreed to teach Izzie a lesson about not getting too close to your patients a while back, but didn’t step in when she obviously did get too attached to Denny and Burke as Denny’s doctor didn’t do anything to prevent this disaster either. I get why Bailey and the Chief accepted a certain amount of blame back then.
It is probably debatable if Derek should have ever gotten the money to start this particular trial and get Meredith on board for it when it was clear right from the start that they were mixing professional and personal there, but neither Derek nor Meredith are inexperienced interns. And apart from Richard and maybe Alex, no one in the hospital even knew about Adele and the kind of role she played in the trial. Bailey most certainly didn’t. I doubt she knows now. I’m sure part of the reason why she was so pissed at the Chief was because she didn’t know why exactly he was so desperate to take the fall for Meredith. And why exactly Meredith messed with the trial to begin with.
I think Finn should come back and will see how Derek will enjoy it and how he can run away.as for Shonda she confuses her lies with drama when she says that Merder love will be solid shame on her
Derek has turned into Brandon Walsh from the old Beverly Hills 90210. He is a sanctimonious prig, so black and white about everything. He has become even more uptight and morally superior than when the show began. Meredith, on the other hand, seems to have the same writers as always–her character has remained twisty and dark, but with a sweet edge. She and Christine humanize each other. I don’t really buy her as a mother though, she doesn’t seem to have a maternal bone in her body–but at least she’s trying, whereas Derek could care less about his new daughter. Where exactly does she stay with him when she sleeps over his house–in the fire pit he and Owen are building? In the trailer? In a hospital room next to the creepy woman Avery thought was a man? I know this show isn’t supposed to be realistic, but at least give us something to keep us engaged.
My prediction: now that their daughter has been taken from them, Meredith and Derek will have a wild night of drunken comfort sex that they’ll both regret in the morning, he’ll continue to treat her like sh&*, and of course she’ll be pregnant.
How will the writers redeem Derek? The question is, do we really care.
Well, at least since Dempsey and Pompeo aren’t renewing their contracts after this season, we won’t have to worry about such things for too much longer.