Desperate Housewives – I see you coming and I don’t wanna know your name!

Hey Jaylen, my friend! This is fast becoming the highlight of my week! Second, perhaps, only to new episodes of the show! Great review, as always, Jaylen, and while there are elements about the episode that you talked about that I agree with, as usual, there are other things that I don’t. Which is great, that’s part of the fun of sharing our thoughts on the show.

Season eight, at least to me, has been a letdown. It feels like everyone involved in making the show can’t wait for it to be over. The scripts have been poor, please, don’t even get me started on the terrible attempts to make us laugh, and the actors have not delivered on their high standard of acting as regularly as I’d liked, it seems that they are all just fulfilling their contracts, and nothing more. I doubt anybody really has much pride in what they’re doing now, the writers especially. But each Sunday, I get just as excited about a new episode as I ever did. It’s like you said, long time fans of the show just get joy from watching. And nothing the writers do to ruin the series will drive me away, I’ve invested too much of myself into Desperate Housewives to give up on it.

With only 8 episodes left before ABC pulls down the curtain on Desperate Housewives, I’ve noticed the writers are starting to “nice” everything up. You only have to look at their forced effort at having Susan and Lynette bond over their grandchild. And, while I enjoyed seeing scenes with Tom and Susan, and Mike and Lynette (as you said, it’s always nice to see the writing team mix up the cast from time to time), the overall package just felt too manufactured. It was your classic “we only have a few episodes to go, we better have our main stars bond over something before we run out of time”. I’ve got no doubt that we’ll see our other lead characters bond over the final 8 episodes.

There was a lot to like about the episode though, I loved the scene between Roy and Gabrielle. Both Orson Bean and Eva Longoria are fine actors, and delivered a stunning scene together. I thought it was powerful that Roy acknowledged that his wife’s death was more of a special time for the two of them, rather than the worst time in his life. And I got a little teary-eyed when Gabrielle told Roy she had to break a promise she made with Karen.

You know, you said it in your review, and many fans have said it, they hope Karen beats it. Don’t get me wrong, I love Karen dearly, but I am hoping for a beautiful death scene in the finale, Karen passing away surrounded by all her friends on Wisteria Lane. With Roy by her side, holding her hand… That’s just me anyway. I love an excuse to cry. Maybe Roy gets sick too, and they pass away together… It would be a beautiful way to say goodbye to Karen and Roy.

Bree and Orson had very little screen time in the first half of last night’s episode, but once they kicked into high gear, we got our Bree and Orson fix. I enjoyed Bree discovering that Orson was behind Chuck’s death, and the notes, but I don’t buy that Orson’s masterplan all along was to alienate Bree from her friends. He could not possibly have anticipated what the notes would do. I just found that scenario pretentious and groundless writing. But that’s just me anyway. I found their scenes to have been well acted, both Kyle MacLachlan and Marcia Cross are exceptional actors, but, as has become customary, the script let them down.

Finally, Renee! I just loved how she wasn’t going to take any . . . expletives … from the loan shark. One of my favourite scenes from the episode! Vanessa Williams delivers time and again, week in, week out, and just doesn’t get enough recognition for her work. But this is why we love Renee, she’s a tough bird, come hell or high water, Renee won’t be pushed around, and I love and respect her for that!

Finally (I think this is the final finally), the scene between Mike and his loan shark buddy was fantastic. This guy underestimated Mike, and copped a savage beating. But his final words “Then you should have killed me” should have Mike scared. Mike would win a physical fight, we saw it, he won it, hands down, but it’s not too difficult to get hold of a gun. And take the cowards way out…

Will Mike die? And that scene at the end between Gabrielle and Carlos when they were talking about death. The writers are laying the groundwork now, both Mike and Carlos have been set up to fall. But only one of them will die. We know that Mama Solis will appear in a flashback episode the week after next… Could that mean Carlos is the character who’s dying? Why would we see his mother in a flashback if Mike dies? Still, my money’s on Mike.

Tom and Lynette’s magical reunion won’t happen if Tom dies. But the writers won’t kill him off, there hasn’t been a single clue that suggests that Tom will get it. And the writers will probably NOT piss all those Tom and Lynette fans off by killing one of them. Personally, I don’t care if we see them reunite. It’ll feel forced anyway.

So, to sum up, I think Mike and Carlos are the most likely characters to die. I’m pretty much ruling Tom out. It doesn’t make sense that Carlos will be shot next week. Unless he accidentally gets shot instead of Mike… It SHOULD be Mike. Maybe it’ll be Carlos. We’ll find out in a week!

I think Rex never died and is returning in something twisted at the end. Here’s why:

First read this, FROM today.msnbc.msn.com 9/25/2005
“And the circumstances surrounding Rex’s demise were suspicious. None of his family was there when he breathed his last, and the news was delivered by phone by a doctor who was a friend of Rex’s.”

A) Rex was a physician; he knew that the pharmacist that “switched his meds” was his enemy. It is very unlikely that he never considered that pharms he was taking might be exacerbating his medical condition.
B) If he wanted to “fake” his death, he probably knew hospital staff that would facilitate that deception (he was a physician in a small town)
C) Medical friends would have been willing to facilitate Rex’s disappearance if they had confirmed suspicion that his life were in danger (i.e. pharmacist wanting to poison him).
D) Rex wanted to leave anyway and did not have real means to break with Bree amicably. Bree would have been shamed by divorce or additional scandal. Rex wanted out of a life where he felt trapped, but still loved Bree; a vanishing act – though extreme – would have provided solution.
E) He let Bree go with the note …. “I understand why you did it….” Shows compassion for her and forgiveness, possibly with the intent of helping her move on with her life.
F) REX HAD SECRETS. He was sleeping with the ‘hood prostitute and had a mysterious son that popped up (Sam); the idea of his participation in a “disappearance” is not far-fetched.
G) All these events took place back when Desp Housewives writers were actually interested in their jobs. Complex, original plotlines were still around then. (not intended to be a slam on DH staff, but back then, I do believe that they were more interested in the show).
H) Marc Cherry modeled Bree after his mom & Van De Kamps after his family. Eventually the ending storyline WILL focus on them.
I) Other character plotlines seem to be tired.
J) Scavo plotline is extremely tired; Carlos back from rehab: tired.
K) Mike looks … definitely dead.
L) In real life, actor playing Rex (Steven Culp) obviously still on good terms with DH/ABC; multiple sources report he will be back in March. Unlike Nicolette Sheridan, he apparently is in touch with payroll dept.
M) Marc Cherry has said publicly that he has had idea for finale for quite some time. Rex’s saga ended a long time ago.
N) Since Rex (Steven Culp) was cut so early on, it is very likely that Cherry/DH staff felt a little bad about that. Writing him back in at the end, minimizes their feelings of guilt about that decision?
O) Rex’s character seems unlikely to abandon the kids, but where the hell have they been? I think Andrew and Danielle have been in contact with him… and respected his choice to begin a new life away from their neurotic mother.

P) Orson did not drop a note in the mail with damning evidence for Bree & housewives. I have a hard time believing that he would not consider the repercussions for himself (since he did admit to killing Detective Vance). Certainly he is aware that housewives’ statement that he killed Vance would be given investigation considering that he is a big, bad convicted felon.

Perhaps what is actually in that envelope is evidence that Bree attempted to kill her husband? I KNOW WHAT YOU DID. IT MAKES ME SICK… may have nothing to do with Alejandro!