The Celebrity Apprentice – Does solidarity come with a price?

Usually, I just sit back in my comfy blue armchair and enjoy the deliciousness that is The Celebrity Apprentice while only thinking what I myself would do and say in these tasks. What would I wear, who would I want to kill, and how would I defend myself in the boardroom? But when Aryeh asked me to fill in this week, I was forced to straighten my back and pay attention. Who knew it was possible to take so many pages of notes on this thing? Yeesh. Maybe I have just a touch of OCD. But, hopefully, for your benefit.

I have no idea how Trump could have made it any clearer that he wanted Michael Andretti to take the wheel as project manager on this task from the get-go of introducing it. (Aside from going directly up to Michael and sticking a literal wheel in his hand.) The men’s team just blew him right off, didn’t they? First. Big. Mistake. What were they thinking? There’s the head of the show telling you exactly what the hell he expects and you don’t listen?  (Although knowing The Donald, if the men had taken the suggestion and lost he would have said “Well, maybe you shouldn’t have listened to me just because you wanted to suck up to me.” Yeah. He’s like that.)

Anyway, the men chose Adam Carolla and the women Debbie Gibson. (I’m not calling her Deborah and you can’t make me.) I’ve never been a huge fan of Adam Carolla‘s. But as a result of tonight’s show, I kinda like the guy. Scary Hooker Makeup (I mean Debbie Gibson), I had the exact opposite reaction toward. Here’s why …

The task that the Buick executives set in front of these teams was a rather daunting one. A twenty minute presentation and question and answer period sounds like not too much of a problem. But if you’ve ever had to fill twenty minutes while trying to collaborate with several coworkers? Well, you can feel what I’m sayin’. Double that when the people involved have egos the size of the entire great outdoors.

Debbie showed some smarts by letting Aubrey O’Day (she’s a pop star??) brainstorm for her. But if you noticed, as was pointed out by Don Junior in the boardroom … the team never fully had or understood their concept. And the fact that Debbie didn’t have adequate rehearsals and broke for the evening anyway, just killed me. Then! She and her team come back the next day with forty five minutes to spare before their presentation.

What!? Where’s the leadership there?

In the meantime, Gibson tells the behind the scenes camera that she hopes “magic fairy dust” will show up the next day as she admits she’s not “overly familiar with the material.” Dingbat.

Um. She’s only the project manager. I am so filled with dismay that it actually worked out for her. Were the Buick executives high? A team member (O’Day) gets your product name wrong not once but twice? You don’t understand the theme, what role the host of the performance played, didn’t get a sense of your product overall, but … OK, you win? Does this not go against the caveates that the Buick executives wanted to begin with? As in brand messaging and taking on a luxurious feel? About the only things the women got right were sticking up a huge sign that said “Thoughtful.” (There was no reason or explanation for why it was there. I don’t even think the women knew why, except that the executives had said that word a few times in their meeting.) Also, the fake sob story about O’Days Mom being in a horrible accident without adequate airbags she would have had in a Buick Verano spoke to the safety issues. And look! We can fit a family in here!

Otherwise? Meh. A great big Meh.

I’m not saying Adam and the men’s team did that much better. Carolla ignored the executive’s warnings about using too much comedy completely. And having Paul Teutul repeatedly yell “You suck” was a huge gaff; not conducive to the way Buick wants to be seen at all. And the fart joke. There were tons of mistakes in that effort.

But I’ll tell ya? I really dug the way Adam took the hit for it in the boardroom.

Sometimes in life? It’s refreshing to see a person step up and admit that right or wrong, they’re taking responsibility for their actions and decisions. Adam did that.

Trump “punishing” that solidarity by not only firing Adam but by bringing in yet another member of his team to get the hatchet was repulsive. What kind of a lesson is that Donald? In my book, he should have let Adam stay for his honesty and booted Mr. I Should Be Utilized.  (Lou Ferrigno)

As an aside … I bet college campuses all over the country drink every time Lou says he’s underutilized. That guy’s responsible for getting more kids wasted! Shame on him!

And before I get to Obnoxious Ego Meanderings from this episode, I gotta say it. Yes. The men should have used Michael Andretti as project manager. Or he himself should have volunteered. I can see why it didn’t happen. Dude’s a horrifying public speaker, and is so laid back we should check for a pulse. But Adam did feature him front and center.

So these firings? Trump got wrong. Totally wrong. Don’t you agree?

Now let’s enjoy some of the things the celebrities said about themselves this week. Shall we?

Obnoxious Ego Meanderings

“I’ve always been one of the members of the cool van. The uncool van is the leftovers.” — Aubrey O’Day

“Everyone loves Lou Ferrigno. Anything I do creates attention.” — Um. Lou Ferrigno.

“I’m Debbie Gibson. Yes THE Debbie Gibson.” — Um. You know who.

“I get up there … I’m hilarious!” – Lisa Lampanelli

Clacked by Tara Shrodes
on Mar 12, 2012 @ 02:37 EST5EDT