Hell’s Kitchen – David Beckham and Lee Dewyze sit at the Chef Tables

While my pal Tara is busy stalking … I mean awaiting an interview opportunity with Chris Daughtry at Comic-Con, she has entrusted me to watch diligently over her other (not so) secret love, Chef Hawt aka Gordon Ramsay. (Is she really going to toss him aside that easily for Daughtry?) I usually watch Hell’s Kitchen on a regular basis, but I just have not had a chance to catch an episode thus far this season, keeping tabs on the show through Tara’s insightful posts. But the show is pretty much the same, year after year, yes? No? Yes? I get so confused when Gordon does that.

So I really expected quite the usual amount of fireworks this week, and … well, no one seemed like they were actually going to stab another contestant (and, really, is anyone else surprised that no one has been stabbed during the course of this show’s run?). Yeah, there were a couple of tense moments, like when Brian wanted to shove Tiffany’s head in the fryer, but she was only there trying to bail his ass out from the disastrous dinner service provided … or not provided … by the Blue Team.

In fact, this whole episode was a big bait-and-switch! After the Blue Team won the first challenge using a bunch of bizarre ingredients of their choosing (dragon fruit?) — getting a 24-hour stay in Vegas with Carrot Top lurking in their suite as a reward (?) — it seemed like the women were just going to be plotting on ways to serve each other up at dinner service. Even their penalty for losing seemed tailor-made to totally stress them out: they had to slow roast a pig on a tiny grill up in the dorm (well, on the balcony of the dorm), turning it and basting it every hour on the hour all night long. So with little-to-no sleep, you had to know the women were going to be on very short fuses come dinnertime.

But they managed to pull themselves together (maybe it was the fact that they were cooking for David Beckham!) and give Chef Ramsay the smoothest appetizer course ever (even if they did mangle a couple of flatbread pizzas topped with pulled pork barbecue). Meanwhile, the men (plus Robyn) were also destroying pizzas and — dun dun daah! — scallops! Royce’s pork chops were dry, and Clemenza’s fish was blackened when it wasn’t supposed to be, and he wore more of the food than he served. The men were so bad that Chef took them all in the pantry to give them a pep talk, and by that I mean scream at them, leaving Robyn completely alone in the Blue kitchen!

The Red Team completely finished their service before the Blue Team even had one entree served, so Ramsay put them to work in the Blue Kitchen to finally feed Lee Dewyze and Haley Reinhart (and the rest of the Blue Team diners). Of course, it was no surprise that the Blue Team lost and had to send someone home, and I think Chef actually kept the worst of the two nominees — Royce and Clemenza. Royce had some dry pork chops (Gordon even squeezed them to prove it), but Clemenza not only screwed up a couple of orders of scallops, but his fish was a mess too (not to mention he’s a slob). But, methinks Clemenza provides more entertainment value (i.e. drama) than Royce, so Royce was sent packing and Clemenza got a clean jacket.

And, presumably, Becks (and his son Brooklyn), Dewyze and Reinhart enjoyed their meals … and the spectacle that is Hell’s Kitchen.

“Uhh, guys, I’m not opening a vegetarian restaurant in Vegas, let me tell you that.” — Chef Ramsay as the Blue Team overlooks the need for a protein in their dish

“I don’t really give a [bleep] what they put up on the Red team. You are now Blue. You are no longer Red. We do not have vaginas.” — Royce, commenting on Robyn’s lack of familiarity with the Blue kitchen prep

Clacked by Chuck Duncan
on Jul 09, 2012 @ 22:06 EST5EDT