Biggest Loser – Barn versus Ranch … outwit, outlast … huh?

Janey Graves is back Guest-Clacking for us again, after sharing her thoughts on last week’s Biggest Loser episode.

My Nana always had three specific pieces of reading material in her house at all time: the current issue of the National Enquirer; the current issue of Antiques magazine; and a Readers Digest Condensed Book anthology. That condensed book always fascinated me (although truth be told I was much more interested in the Enquirer) because it seemed to pare down a piece of literature to the edited bare bones. All the excitement with little-to-none of the boring stuff!

That’s how I looked at this week’s Biggest Loser episode, which was shortened to an hour, thanks to being aired the same night as the State of the Union address. Condensed with some excitement and a modicum of boring stuff.

The hot topic on the ranch was still The Big Weight Gain of the twin cops, Tweedle Dan and Tweedle Don. We got a revisit of the Shocking! Weigh-In – shown in sepia tones to emphasize the gravity of the situation. We were also treated to what I can only describe as a grill-er-vention of Don by the other contestants and a similar situation guest starring Bob and Jillian. That went about as well as we savvy home viewers at home would expect. Me thinks that Don doth protest too much – even his big profanity-laden rant rang hollow – and that wasn’t just the sound of the bleeps ringing through the gym either. And while I watched this go down, all I could really focus on when Jillian was yelling at him was the fact that he seriously needed a haircut. And a moustache trim. A bit of grooming might help the sincerity factor, copper. Just a suggestion.

Arthur, our great big Blue Team teddy bear, never fails to disappoint, does he? When he and Jesse were taking their turn in the Big Room of Artery Clogging Goodness during the Temptation, I was yelling at the TV like I do when I watch a horror movie: “DON’T GO OVER THERE ARTHUR! BACK AWAY FROM THE PIZZA!” Smart move, though, taking that little challenge into his own hands by noshing on what was probably the lowest calorie item on the shelves. That piece of fried chicken never had a chance — piranhas aren’t that thorough. And when he read the letter from his little girl … well, pass the Kleenex and call me John Boehner. Sniff.

The bit of time we spent with the Barn People was eye-opening – and I’m not just talking about Trainer Cara’s ever-present eyeliner. That location is pretty posh when compared to conditions back at the ranch. People cooking for you! People making your bed! People presumably cleaning your bathroom! Now that’s the life. Almost makes up for the fact that they have to work out in a barn. Almost.

Aqua Courtney may be the most mature, self-aware contestant this show has had in a long time. She’s focused and seems to “get it.” I think I want to be Courtney when I grow up.

I still think the BL producers had cocktails or rented a summer house with the Survivor producers. The challenges and “team” competition sure smack of all that stuff we see on Survivor. Not sure it translates well to this format — the real litmus test will be next week when the Barn and Ranch tribe merge. So to speak. And that guess the calorie challenge was mind-numbing in its zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz factor. But who doesn’t love the letters from home reward? Don’s reaction to his estranged son’s bit of communication was moving – though not enough for him to get back on my good side.

Another week without a blatant product placement. Hooray for being condensed! Making me suspicious, though. Wondering what we’ll be deluged with next week. Speaking of next week – apparently there’s a lot going on, with the Barn People joining the Ranch madness and another shocking weigh-in. Anyone want to guess who owns that one?

Quote of the night: “Get the bleeps ready.” ~ Don, right before letting lose with a stream of dispassionate profanity

Clacked by Guest Clacker
on Jan 26, 2011 @ 12:06 EST5EDT