MasterChef – There’s no crying in cooking!

Meet Ben. I like Ben. He really wants to win MasterChef this season, and I think he has a good chance. But, he’s just gotta stop crying. Hey. I’m not a contestant. I just write about them. Maybe the pressure is completely intense. But Ben even cries when something good happens! As in this week, he finally got the chance to make his own special pumpkin cake for the judges, and boy the waterworks. He cries for contestants being judged harshly. He cries when he’s safe. I know the guy is by trade a writer, and admittedly, we are rather sensitive sorts. And sometimes he’s endearing. However, I feel a bit hormonal, so tonight I just wanted to punch him in the groin.

Christina is a big gusher too. I find she’s at least fun to watch though, as you can always count on her swearing a blue streak and throwing some crap around while she does it. I say, if you’re going to cry on national television, at least make it count.

Tonight’s show found us in the midst of a VIP Hollywood gala. There was a lot of build up about the importance of these people, but I only recognized Carson Kressley. Don’t get me wrong. I saw every episode of Queer Eye For the Straight Guy, and Carson was my fave. But if he’s the biggest celeb at your party, then is it really so VIP?  (Sorry Carson.)

The Ego Christian and Ben were able to pick their teams, as a result of doing well last week. Ben picked all the chicks, and dubbed himself “their bitch.” Heh.

So the challenge for the teams is to create three “stunning” (it’s always the word “stunning” on this show) appetizers; vegetarian, meat, and dessert. Ben let his teammates pick what they’d like to be in charge of. Christian was just a bulldozer and planned his whole menu and delegated. Here, I have to say: There’s a difference between taking a “risk” and being just plain stupid. The judges called Christian’s choice to serve steak tartar (raw meat basically) a “risk.” I call it disgusting and rather dangerous. Was Christian trying to bump off Carson or something?

And the questions continue. As in, how clueless is Esther? If the first time your batter doesn’t come out perfect maybe try a second time, sure. But then when Gordon Ramsay says he’s worried and you better make a different plan,  and she even goes through the degradation of watching him pour it in the garbage; still she chooses to try for a third. She didn’t give Ben a heads up. She didn’t admit it wasn’t working. I notice that every time, after we watch Esther flail around for almost the entire allotted time period, the camera cuts to her and she says, “There just wasn’t enough time.” Grr! Yes there was! You just have no organizational skills or common sense. The next time I see you on television Esther, I just want you to look in the camera and say, “You know, I have no common sensssse.” (Yes. That was a snide remark about her lisp. I told you I’m hormonal.)

Which is why I’m so glad she’s gone. Her own remarks in the pressure challenge, about how lost she was in making her six layer cake, told the whole story. I mean, people. She admitted to losing track of how many layers were on her cake! Even my Gordon said it looked as if it was made in a panic. But of course, according to Esther it was old Father Time’s fault again. Two hours just wasn’t enough. (Believe me, she could have had six hours and she still would have forgotten to flour the pans and be searching for eggs.)

Ba Bye Esther. You lucked out staying this long.  And Ben? You’re my pony right now, so man up buddy boy. There’s no crying in base — uh, cooking.

Clacked by Tara Shrodes
on Jul 12, 2011 @ 11:00 EST5EDT