Quotation Marks – Pretty Little Liars, True Blood, Futurama

It’s a mixed bag of summer quotes this week, from Melissa’s baby (inquiring minds want to know, according to this week’s traffic) to cooking douchebags (wow, I just got a completely literal image of that one) to masturbation and procreating robots (not going for an image this time). Summer programming certainly has its moments, and we’ve got so many great quotes this week I bet you won’t even miss regular season television. Did we miss your favorite? Share it with us in the comments!

Falling Skies (review)

“Life brings you lemons? You blow its frigging head off.” – Pope

“If those atrocities are the worst of us, what does that make you?” – Mason
“The ones who will decide if your world lives or dies.” – Alien leader

“Dr. Glass? Do you know anything about scotch?” – Weaver
“Some’s good, some’s better?” – Anne

“I shoulda had faith that you’d come back for [your boys].” – Anne
“Not just them.” – Tom (All together now? Aaaawwwwwwww!)

“No it’s true, Dylan’s alive. He’s holed up in a mineshaft in Minnesota rewriting his protest songs into war ballads.” – Random camp conversation, proving that writers Bradley Thompson and David Weddle might have a little Battlestar Galactica left in them.

True Blood (review)

“We’re all gonna die. He’s coming for us.” – Terry (sleepwalking)

“Come on hooker, drink.” – Lafayette (to Vampire Tara)

“Jesus loves vampires.” – Vampire Steve Newlin

“Geeze, Stackhouse, have you slept with every woman in town?” – Andy
“I don’t know, I’m close I guess.” – Jason

“That is a lovely dress. I’m sorry about all the blood.” – 1905 Eric to Pam

“Tara is in there. You have to give her a chance.” – Sookie (to Lafayette)

“Have you seen Jason’s butt? It’s rock-hard. You could chip a fang on it.” – Jessica

“Any threat to mainstreaming is a threat to us.” – The Authority

“I will never forgive either of you.” – Vampire Tara (to Sookie & Lafayette)

Teen Wolf (review)

“You think I’m teaching you how to fight? I’m teaching you how to survive!” – Derek to his minions, foreshadowing the multiple conflicts brewing

Pretty Little Liars (review)

“Are we getting a little paranoid right now?” — Aria, reacting to Emily’s fear that someone altered her test score
“You’re not paranoid if someone’s out to get you.” — Emily

“Dude, you tried to set fire to my girlfriend.” — Caleb
“Yeah, sorry about that; I was being ground down by a trivial bureaucracy.” — Lucas

“Garrett was talking about medical records — we thought he was talking about Jenna’s.” — Hanna, realizing that Garrett might be the father of Melissa’s baby
“Jenna’s medical records might not have changed your mother’s mind, but … Melissa’s …” — Emily

“It’s better for a lot of people if Mona stays crazy. Right?” — Lucas

“Spence, did you call the hospital?” — Hanna
“Yeah, I called.” — Spencer
“Are they sending the records?” — Aria
“There aren’t any records.” — Spencer
“Whats that supposed to mean?” — Emily
“It means that Melissa didn’t lose her baby in June.” — Spencer

“You have to promise not to tell.” — Jenna
“That you can see?” — Emily
“Are you kidding?” — Spencer
“I am still a target.” — Jenna
“For who?” — Aria
“If I knew that, then I wouldn’t have to hide.” — Jenna

Bunheads (review)

“What are you doing?” — Sasha
“Reading the paper.” — Melanie
“Who does that?” — Sasha

“Someone always brings a ham. What they should really bring is some Valium and a shrink.” — Fanny, discussing the memorial arrangements

“I asked them how much to dye a tent, and they laughed at me. Like Ellen.” — Fanny

“She’s awfully tall, isn’t she? Was she ever a man?” — Fanny’s friend #1
“Why would you say that?” – Fanny’s friend #2
“I don’t know, I just think this town could use a woman who used to be a man, to go with the Republican and the Liza Minelli impersonator.” — Fanny’s friend #1

“I take my spirituality very seriously. If I don’t see it with my own eyes, I don’t believe it.” — Fanny

MasterChef (review and review)

“You cook every fricking time like an angel.” — Gordon to Christine

“My master plan to get Monti and Christine out of here didn’t work out … and now I have to start taking out the rest of these douchebags.” — Ryan

“The only thing that Chinese people don’t eat with legs are chairs.” – Felix

“If there really was a time to flash a nip, ladies …” — Ryan prompting the girls in order to garner additional votes for his team