The appeal of Biggest Loser – Guest Clack

Emily Land is back Guest Clacking for us this week. You can check her previous entry too.

Last Tuesday saw the start of another season of NBC’s mega-hit show Biggest Loser-Couples. This is the 3rd season, where our contestants start off in pairs to square off against their competition. Last season pitted married couples against people related by blood. This season it is a mixed bag, but all the competitors have a close bond, including siblings, mother-daughter, married couples and even best friends. We have some of the youngest competitors ever including two teenagers, but the seniors are also represented with a grandparent pair. All in all it looks like a good mix of personalities and life experiences which tends to offer up a good season.

Biggest Loser at one time was an hour long program. I would submit that it still is, but it is stretched over two hours so the producers can cram in as many product placements and cliffhangers they possibly can. I can’t imagine having to watch this show without my DVR. One quarter of the show is devoted to the weigh-in which should take no more than five minutes. However, we have to have dramatic gasps and hands over faces and all that good stuff to drive the drama, right?

So, how can a show that is stretched out longer than it needs to be, with an endless parade of product placements and a host that has all the charisma of drying paint still be so compelling? I’ll tell you.

It makes us overweight people feel good about ourselves.

Don’t believe me? Here’s my thinking. The people that are watching this show are 30-40-50-somethings who are most likely sporting 20 to 40 pounds more than the healthy body should. We get a little bummed when we can’t fit into our favorite jeans from a couple of years ago, but think we’ll lose the weight and leave them hanging in the back of the closet. Enter Biggest Loser. Once a week we watch other people take off their shirt and step up on a scale that looks like it is made to weigh gross lots at the Smithfield packing plant, and we can confidently say to ourselves “Damnit, I may be fat, but at least I don’t look like that!” We also get to celebrate with our selected player’s victories and cheer when the person we have come to really detest gets sent home. It’s also pretty funny watching a player who went into the game with nothing but their health and weight loss as their goal, only to sell their soul to the Krispy Kreme devil and slam down a dozen glazed crullers to gain an advantage in the game. Yeah, this game really satisfies just like a Snickers, but without the calories!

We also get to enjoy some truly WTF moments. This season started off with several gems. The most dramatic had to be Jerry, member of the white team and one of the grandparent pair, who passed out with little to no warning. The way this collapse was promoted and repeated no less than four times made me feel certain that the old fellow hadn’t actually died, but I do believe the producers would have shown it regardless. You can’t beat that kind of drama, now can you? Nothing quite like watching the fear and uncertainty in his wife’s eyes while she waits to hear his fate. However, if Jerry was ready to depart this mortal coil, I’m hoping his wife would be willing to skip the weigh in and stay with him at the hospital, but she remained at the ranch. The verdict was that his blood pressure dropped most likely from a result of the stress, anxiety and exertion that was all crammed into one day.

The next jaw dropper was discovering that Ron, the dad of the Brown Team, had gastric bypass surgery. This man weighed in at 430 pounds and has a stomach the size of an egg. He must be eating non-stop. Two things the show’s doctor didn’t share with the viewers is how long ago the surgery was and what his weight was before the surgery. Ron also has the most disturbing physique I think I have ever seen on Biggest Loser. I’m kind of immune to the man boobs now, but this guy has three layers of lobes a la Creature of the Black Lagoon. Ron also posted the most weigh loss of the week, as well as the biggest loss ever in one week, so he’s off to a good start. Just please, can you keep your shirt on?

The third really surprising moment of the episode was when Alison lead them into the gym and told them they were on their own. It was like what the first scholar to set eyes on the Rosetta Stone felt like, because these people were completely and utterly lost. I was just waiting to see if the exercise balls the two big blondes were sitting on would explode as they sat and played a game of tug of war; it gave a mental image of two bull dogs fighting over a pork chop. We then see the largest female to date do her best Nadia Comaneci imitation on the parallel bars, while Bob and Jillian watch on the remote cameras. The look of horror on their faces was priceless. This same player was later seen trying to use elastic resistance bands as a jump rope. Jed Clampett had a word for things like this: Pit-i-ful.

The clincher of the night was at the weigh in. Alison surprises the bunch by announcing that no team is going to be eliminated that night. The competitors cheer while Bob and Jillian smell a rat. While it is true that no team is going to be eliminated, the sad truth is that nine players will be sent home. The team that won immunity in the weekly challenge gets to remain intact, as does the winner of the weigh in. All of the other teams must select one member of their team to go home. So much for Biggest Loser Couples, right.

All the folks at my workplace including me are pissed that the show producers did something like this on the first night. It might have made sense if they were still competing at home and had to do their weigh-in at a 24 Hour Fitness to make it official. Heck, it would give them another opportunity for a product placement. That wasn’t the way it went down, though. Whomever’s partner is still in the game in 30 days gets to come back. That means if you are into gameplay, it serves you no purpose to lose any weight while at home. I like twists, but this one rates a nine on the lame scale.

I’ll keep watching, because I’m a fan of this show. The best part comes on the season finale when you get to see the dramatic display where a person has dropped over 50% of their body weight. Right now I’m rooting for Ron and Daniel who really need to make life changing choices. I think this show can give them the kick start they need.

Clacked by Keith McDuffee
on Jan 11, 2009 @ 12:30 EST5EDT