When dumb shows attract smart people

Two things to clarify before we begin:

1. Definitions: Stupid shows make us groan, and they even take the low road from time to time (or always), but they generally have smart concepts, smart writers, smart jokes, or all three. In contrast, dumb shows simply have no saving grace. They’re made for a group of people who don’t exist; bubbly, stupid female 18-34s, who are also intelligent and well-versed, love to shop and spend money, believe in sleeping around and monogamy, treat friendship as a precious object and also back-stab everyone around them. The shows themselves lack smart concepts, writers (or so it would seem from the work they turn out) and jokes. For example: while there’s a lot about 30 Rock (forgive me!) that makes me groan, I recognize that it’s stupid funny, not dumb. Tina Fey is a brilliant writer, while at the same time, everything that comes out of Jane Krakowski’s mouth makes me feel like I’m losing braincells. But at least I’m using some of them.
2. I watch Greek. There, I said it. Now, let’s begin.

Dumb shows make me sad. Because they are what are teaching current teens about who and what to be when they grow up. When I was in high school (not so long ago I’ll grant you), we had choices like Seinfeld, Friends and Frasier. Shows that, while at times might have you rolling your eyes, definitely had an I.Q. Television talked to us, not necessarily teaching us about life, but reaching us on our level. Sure, Frasier and Niles Crane were wealthy, but they were older, accomplished professionals, something that we could all aspire to down the road. We watched and suffered along as Joey Tribbiani struggled in his career. His “success” on daytime TV was a lesson that perseverance pays off. Or something like that.

Today? The lessons taught on some “current” shows (including some that are older and/or off the air already) are about growing up rich, marrying rich, mooching rich or just plain being rich. And the shows are so laced with sex, immorality and, yes, dumbness, that I just don’t understand the attraction. So fine, they’re not meant for me, and I don’t waste my time. What amazes me, however, are some of the people who do. Otherwise smart people (and not in the sense that they choose good TV, but rather in the sense that they went to good schools, love to read, are down to earth, are practical, and enjoyed shows like Medical Investigation) are drawn to these things like crawling infants to a plug. Why?

So, being upfront about how little of the following shows I’ve actually watched, while declaring that you don’t need to have seen much to pass judgment, let’s consider the offerings:

Gilmore Girls: Lauren Graham is beautiful. That’s about all I retained from the few times I walked across my living room as GG was on. Two whiny women complaining to one another, fighting, hugging, engaged, broken-up, something about France, rich grandparents, a missing father. Some make the argument that this is “smart TV” or that the cultural references are vast. But it’s really a pleasure-less guilt, a soap for all the mother-daughter tandems who decided that the best quality time they could spend with one another was in front of their television. At least they had an excuse. Solo watchers? Tsk, tsk, tsk.

The O.C.: I’ve been reading nonstop these past two years about Josh Schwartz and the savant talent that he brings to his two current shows. I love Chuck, so this is no comment on Schwartz himself, but I wouldn’t want him bringing anything from his old show to his new ones (well, maybe to Gossip Girl. I couldn’t care less about it anyway. See below.) Once again, my living room kept few secrets. The O.C. had a bad boy, an innocent girl next door who turns into a drugged out whore, a sweet nerd (with some kind of toy pony?) who gets the girl … and someone living on a boat. I don’t know. Something about this smacked of 90210 (the original abomination, not the updated one), Melrose Place and … I’m not sure what, but something even more vapid. I do know that Melinda Clarke got some Entourage mileage out of her star turn here, but she was just as unpleasant with Vinnie and the boys as I hear she was on The O.C. No thanks.

Privileged: This show I’ve actually watched an entire episode of. It was on our to-try list this year. Sure: a journalist looking to succeed goes to work as a tutor for two rich and bratty teens. Reasonable. Except when it’s clearly a vehicle for showing what a great life you could be leading too if only you lived here. Plus something about one twin being serious and wanting to go to a prestigious college, and the other not caring, causing the former to be scared of revealing her true feelings. Because your sister would banish you for those kind of thoughts, right? Oh, and they’re 16 and attending parties on yachts. I’ve been told that this show has changed, but, unfortunately, I’ve scheduled elective surgery for whatever hour Privileged is on. For the entire season. Nothing wrong with me, just figured it was a better use of my time.

Gossip Girl: This one is just simply beyond me. Also on the to-try list last year, hit the delete button after ten minutes and never looked back. And thankfully, my wife moved on with me (and, uh, for all the other shows too. Yeah.) But I keep hearing about it, and reading about it. I just don’t understand! The show is low-rated. The show’s on a minor network. The show has no substance to it. And, the show is just plain pointless. Somebody thought this was a good idea? It’s the worst book to television adaptation since Sex and the City! So why not make a spin-off, right? The nice thing would have been if Josh Schwartz and team had captured even a little authenticity in their depiction of private school life in this country. Too bad they only nailed Switzerland.

So why, oh why do these shows draw an audience? Why do otherwise intelligent people get sucked in by the sheer inanity? Subliminal messages? High-pitched frequencies? Conspiracy-sized dares? I don’t have an answer, I’m just throwing out some ideas. What gets me the most is that these shows persist because, as small an audience as they draw, they’re the “A List” viewers, the alpha (mostly)-females. This highly desirable demographic counts as some multiple of one regular viewer, giving these shows longer lives and more hype. It’s a little crowd with a loud voice.

To all you “A Listers”, I guess you don’t get me and I don’t get you. Then, let’s make a deal: Put your (consumer) weight behind some other (stupid) shows and I’ll leave you in peace to watch your guilty pleasures. Because shows like My Name is Earl, Worst Week and Rules of Engagement could use some of your kind of support!

And, if it’s not too much trouble, maybe Greek, too?

Clacked by Aryeh S.
on Jan 22, 2009 @ 09:30 EST5EDT