Gordon Ramsay is an obnoxious prick.
With that out of the way, I can continue with my review of Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares. Celebrity chefs have become all the rage in the last few years. The names are familiar to most: Mario Batali, Bobby Flay, Emeril, Paula Deen, Alton Brown and to a lesser, more aggravating extent, Rachel Ray. Ms. Ray isn’t so much a chef as she is a perky gal who cooks on the cheap. By the way, for all things food, don’t forget to check out CliqueClack Food. They know what they’re talking about over there; I’m just some rube who thinks jumbo hot dogs are a delicacy.
Ramsay has brought his restaurant makeover talents to America, but I prefer the British version, which has aired for five seasons in England. Both incarnations utilize the same format. Gordon swoops in wearing his super-chef cape to save a failing restaurant from financial ruin. Believe it or not, Gordon is much more sedate in his native land. He still carpet bombs each episode with “fucks” and other colorful insults, but he doesn’t do so in a maniacal way. In addition, he provides the narration in a quiet, almost soothing tone. Weird. Do you think he might be hamming it up for American audiences? Nah.
In the most recent episode I saw, Gordon travels to Lancashire to an old-time English pub called The Fenwick Arms. It’s a quaint little establishment owned and operated by Brian and Elaine. The duo logs 120 hours per week, but have little to show for their tireless efforts except a pile of expanding debt. The problem is Brian’s menu is not befitting the eats normally found in an English pub. Gordon refers to Brian’s food as “overcomplicated and ridiculous.” The sauces stink and the presentation is pretentious. Where’s the shepherd’s pie, Sunday roast and Yorkshire pudding? Gordon wants to know.
The kitchen area is a disaster as well. Brian likes to collect giant, oddly shaped plates. They are stacked high in every corner. Gordon suggests the plates be used to re-tile the whole place. Oh, that Gordon. Brian’s junk is crowding the kitchen, so Gordon brings in a dump truck to clean out the rubbish. The dining room also needs a once-over. A stuffy, dry atmosphere needs to be replaced with a festive family aura.
Gordon’s solution is to simplify the menu and boot chef Brian out of the kitchen. He swaps the fancy dishes for good old fashioned English home-cooking. The results are positive, but Brian is still resistant to change. Gordon has a sit-down with the set-in-his-ways cuisinier and tells him if he doesn’t change he’s headed for bankruptcy and might even work himself to death.
Ramsay lacks tact, but his honesty is refreshing. Actually, I kinda like the guy. Watching him shred an out of control ego is pretty cool. Even if the reason he does it is to inflate his own out of control ego. And I defy anyone to go toe-to-toe with Gordo in a cursing contest. The man is an expletive aficionado; his tongue is quicker than a gunslinger’s hand. The verbal assaults have brought many to tears. His personality is perfect for “reality” programming. We need more assholes on television.
Histrionics aside, I dig Kitchen Nightmares because it explores the behind-the-scenes dynamics of the restaurant business. Relationships are just as important as good food. If staff and management can’t communicate, the chances of survival are hindered. However, most episodes end with hugs and kisses and Gordon rides into the sunset a hero. Hip, Hip, Hooray!
New installments of Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares run Wednesdays at 8pm on BBC America. The older episodes air Saturdays at 2pm. You can also tune in to FOX Thursdays at 9pm or head over to hulu.com. Do you get the feeling Gordon is taking over the world? He must be stopped.
Clacked by Scott Tunstall 
on Apr 01, 2009 @ 10:00 EST5EDT
