What’s this show called … Two and a Half Men?

I am no sitcom snob. So while there are definitely show skeletons in my closet that I’m supposed to be embarrassed about enjoying … well, I’m not. Thankfully humor, much like many other things, is subjective. There are no societal rules bounding us on that one.

Which works in the other direction as well — obviously there are popular shows out there that I don’t bother to watch. I won’t mention any names (mostly because I’m saving some for future column topics), but they’re out there. This week we’ll investigate the mother of them all: Two and a Half Men.

I couldn’t tell you why exactly I’ve never checked out the smash-hit show; even the occasional scene I’ve caught before episodes of Worst Week or Rules of Engagement haven’t drawn me in. But with more than 14 million weekly viewers, I figured it was at least worth my thirty minutes.

I’m a big fan of Martin Sheen’s. And Emilio Estevez didn’t do too shabby a job in those Mighty Ducks movies. But Charlie Sheen has never particularly caught my eye. While there may be something that I’ve liked him in, I have to say that his performance on last week’s episode of Two and a Half Men didn’t even seem worth the roughly $200,000 his agent collects of Sheen’s reported almost $2 million per episode salary.

First of all, was that a laugh track I heard in the background? No matter what else a show has going for it, in my book it’s always undermined by a box of laughter. It makes you wonder what could be funny about a show that can’t even make a roomful of fans giggle.

That aside, Sheen looks like he’s 100. Maybe that’s why his notorious womanizer was doing little more than answering doors and yelling at Jon Cryer’s Alan, but between his Boca outfit and his old man yelling I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that his character was living in a retirement community.

Courtney Thorne-Smith popping up kind of caught me unawares. It was like Cryer’s Duckie had inexplicably gotten Andie even though he was never meant to be more than her friend. And that he was juggling Thorne-Smith’s Lyndsey  and Kelly Stables’ Melissa? Isn’t that Sheen’s job?

I did enjoy the Graham Patrick Martin sighting, as Lyndsey’s son Eldridge. He and Skyler Gisondo (as Bryan) were the only good thing on TBS’ short-lived Bill Engvall Show. And he does much better here NOT as a dim bulb.

I don’t know. I just really didn’t get the show. I couldn’t believe that it was on the air, let alone that it’s in its eighth season and has a gigantic audience. And what in the world is that musical “Men” interlude between scenes that’s incredibly cheesy and annoying?

A part of me felt as if I had to have been being punked after watching the show, except that I know that Two and a Half Men is CBS’ behemoth of a sitcom. But as I was trying to explain above, being a man that enjoys a good rerun of The King of Queens, I’m not one to judge comedic predilections. I may not get it, but I’m not about to judge it.

I’ll keep not watching, and Charlie Sheen can keep on showing up just enough to cash those checks. Deal?

Clacked by Aryeh S.
on Oct 11, 2010 @ 12:00 EST5EDT